How to Successfully Deal with Passive Aggressive Behavior

Empaths can read people really well due to their sensitivity. Yet, there is a personality type that continues to baffle you and yes sometimes even me. You know the type, a seemingly agreeable person who smiles and acts kind yet speaks with cutting remarks, misplaces or forgets important items or consistently arrives late. Passive aggressive behavior causes chaos in relationships and is an energy drain for everyone, not only empaths, due to their denial, procrastination, pouting, silent treatments and lack of responsibility for one’s emotions and behaviors.

The psychology behind this

This person is not evil, just scared. She or he has not learned how to express anger in healthy ways and most likely was shamed or threatened for any outward expression of this feeling as a child. There is a feeling of powerlessness, which is why this person seeks to have power in indirect ways. In order to feel safe, this person denies and represses the feeling. As the saying goes, what gets repressed gets expressed in one form or another. That is why the underhanded comments slip out, the tasks go unfinished or appointments are missed.

What can you do?

Step 1: Trust your instincts. When interacting with this type of person, it is difficult to put their resistant behavior into words. You know that there is a disconnection between what a person says and what a person does. You feel their hidden hostility, yet when you confront this person on their behavior she or he will deny it to the hills.

Step 2: Recognize the pattern. Many empaths go the avoidance route because you don’t know what to do. You will leave the situation politely but feel confused and exhausted. A part of my job is to teach you how to maintain your energy despite outside influences. Avoidance can be a good start although I would like to help you choose your behaviors from a place of power.

For those that get stuck in a dance of frustration or freeze because of an inability to detach from energy; begin to become aware of what is happening even if it is after the situation is over. Learn to see the patterns and refuse to participate in them. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting a different result. You are the one who needs to change because they won’t.

Step 3:  Become like Spock. Remind yourself that their behavior is not personal. Do not react even though every fiber of your being wants to. Take a breather, walk away and practice relaxation techniques. Once you emotionally disengage and detach from the situation, identify that this person is angry and not you.

Step 4: Flood them with light and love. This is for the light workers and enlightened ones out there. The dynamics of a relationship can change from one person detaching. I have witnessed miracles in my own and my client’s lives when they are able to send blessings to those that trigger them.

Two ways to do this is imagine them surrounded in white light and pray for them. Don’t forget to give yourself the same kindness and compassion. This is not easy to do, if you are struggling with this one take heart that most people do not get to this level of being around difficult people.

Step 5: Learn assertiveness skills. For those relationships that are close to you such as family and friends you will want to come to a sense of peace and empowerment. A gentle but direct approach that focuses on the behavior is what works because these people fear confrontation and anger. If they suspect any type of perceived challenge or threat they will avoid and deny. In the end, you may handle the situation with the utmost tact and diplomacy and still the person denies their behavior.

Lisa Hutchison LMHC works specifically with sensitive healers who want to recharge and refuel their energies from challenging relationships such as these through phone counseling and angel card readings. I will address your specific situation and we will come up with a step by step plan to empower you for a future interaction. The more you step into your power, you will deal more successfully with this type of relationship dynamic without getting drained.

To break free from the chaos of relationship dynamics go to www.lisahutchison.net and help yourself to 8 Simple Things that Release Chaos from your Life Now!

How to Identify an Ideal Channel

A channel is someone who allows Spirit, also know as the Divine, to flow and work through them.  I channel spirit when I read angel cards, perform individual psycho-spiritual therapy sessions, write and teach.  I first learned how to channel spirit through my Reiki training.  It is essential that a channel work to be a clear receiver and sender in order to deliver the best information to you.  In addition to being an open, clear channel, I have listed additional qualities to consider when hiring or working with others because not everyone who is “spiritual” is healthy.

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1.) Ideal channels take care of themselves– They walk their talk by utilizing the healing modalities that they teach.  They seek out mentors and healers to keep themselves balanced.  They model what health looks like to others.  I feel strongly that I have done what I recommend.  It is very important to only recommend people and products that I trust.

2.) Ideal channels work from the heart space and not the ego– They do not create a dependency in which you need them.  After your time together you will feel lighter, motivated and inspired.  They give you the tools, trusting that your higher wisdom will lead the way.  Rather than tell you what to do they offer suggestions to empower you.  Your free will is respected at all times.  They do not take it personally when you choose differently than what they suggested.  They understand that there are many roads to healing.

3.) Ideal channels have great boundaries– They show up on time because they recognize that your time is valuable.  Which also means that they end sessions on time.  They minimize interruptions by shutting off their phone and focusing on you completely.  The healing space is honored as sacred, whether the session is taking place in person or by telephone.  This is not a time for them to share about their personal life unless it directly relates to your current situation.  There are times that sharing is a great healer because it shows us that we are not alone in our struggles.  Be aware that these sharing moments need to be brief , considering this is the time that you have paid for.  Your personal information is keep private.  They uphold your confidentiality.  If they need to cancel, notice is given. They return your phone calls within 24-48 hours and keep office hours.  If they are ill, they reschedule your session.

4.)Ideal channels clearly communicate– You know what to expect because the process is explained.  Whether it is a reading, class or individual session you start off knowing where you are going and have an idea of how you are going to get there.  You know what is happening, when it is happening and are asked to check in with any questions.  All fees and payment are clearly communicated up front before services take place.

Use your intuition when hiring or working with a channel or any type of light worker.  If at any time you feel uncomfortable, beyond the normal resistance which comes with any healing process, listen and leave.  Once you send out a desire to the Universe to connect with someone who can truly help you, you will receive.

Many Blessings!

Lisa xx

Lisa Hutchison works with Spirit to connect empathic helpers and artists to their own spirit and that of the Divine.  She offers individual psycho-spiritual therapy sessions  and angel card readings in person and by phone. Contact her at lisadhutch@verizon.net to schedule your appointment and for pricing.

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