How to Overcome the Shame of Wanting More

As an empath, you need more self-care than others in order to nurture your gift of sensitivity and many people will not get it. Some people will seem confused by your need for solitude or special requests, while others will get downright nasty. No matter what others’ reactions are, it is essential that you take care of yourself. It is not your job to make others understand you, it is your job to protect and rejuvenate your energies. The good news is other people do not need to understand your need for more, but you do!

Why do people shame others?

People who shame, were shamed and are doing to you what they were taught. They were fed big ol’ shame sandwiches most likely by their parents and did not question or have awareness of this destructive emotion. Shame stunts personal growth by halting self-development. You cannot grow bigger under a cloud of shame.

People who shame others do not take responsibility for their feelings. When they feel insecure or uncomfortable, they will project that negativity onto you. Remember when this happens, it is not personal and take steps to protect your energies.

A personal story

I kept myself small because of shame. As a child, I was shamed for wanting more out of life and as an adult for taking care of my own needs. The message I received from my step father was;”You want too much.” Today, I wonder why wanting more caused so much fear in this man? I can only surmise that he felt unworthy of having more himself.

As a psychotherapist, I have spent a lot of time analyzing this man’s behavior to understand myself. According to people like him, I want a lot. I learned to say; so what? People who are on the path of self-development require a richer life. I accept my need for more without apology or shame.

To be crystal clear, when I talk about more it is not necessarily in the form of stuff because that has never brought me happiness. I am pretty low maintenance on most things yet I don’t budge on certain aspects of comfort/self-care. When traveling with others besides my husband, I need my own room because I require space by myself to relax and unwind. I know I can absorb a lot of energy from other travelers, people and places, therefore I take the necessary steps to care for myself.

 5 Steps to Overcome Shame & Shine

  • Know your real self– Do you identify as an empath or highly sensitive person? If yes, what does that mean for you?
  • Know what you need– What are your self- care requirements (regardless of how other people respond to them)?
  • Know that you deserve it– You are worthy of having what you want and need. Yes, it is okay to want more!
  • Assert yourself and hold those boundaries– Speak up about what you need without stepping on other’s boundaries and stand in your power.
  • Learn the signs and feelings of shame- Put shame squarely in its place by recognizing it and not absorbing it into your body. Look at it as an outdated emotion that no longer has a purpose in your life.

Lisa Hutchison LMHC works for empathic healers who want to recharge and replenish their depleted energies in order to heal themselves and others. Lisa is an intuitive psychotherapist who offers counseling, certified angel card readings and writing coaching sessions to compassionate helpers by phone and in person. Help yourself to her FREE 10 page E-book 8 Simple Things that Release Chaos from Your Life Now! at http://www.lisahutchison.net  

How to Manifest with the Moon

Are you sensitive to the moon’s gravitational pull? The moon has eight phases in one monthly cycle. During this time, empaths can sense or feel the emotional, physical and spiritual effects of the increasing and deceasing energy each month. Let’s make the most out of this natural occurrence, sync up your energy with that of the moon and manifest the heck out of it.

When you experience the full moon twice in one month, it is known as a blue moon. The months following could be powerhouses of creation if you work this energy to your favor. The full moon energy is a fabulous time to release what you no longer need in your life. You can choose to let go of emotions, illnesses, blocks to creativity or outdated beliefs. Whatever your heart desires, you get the idea. Make an effort to look for the full moon and stand in the moonlight whether it is from a window or outside to absorb her healing energy.

moon

The full moon is a great time of the month to not only clean house spiritually and emotionally but also physically. Organize papers, discard or donate items that you no longer need. Think of these words; Surrender & Release. Speaking of cleaning, it is a time to cleanse and charge your crystals. Place your crystals in a bowl and leave them in the light of the full moon.

Changes you may notice during the full moon are an increase in energy, which can be excellent during the day although not when you need to sleep. Many empaths cannot shut down and suffer from insomnia or restlessness physically, mentally or spiritually during the full moon.  Use this energy as fuel for your creativity. If you are awake do not stew in frustration, grab your journal and write or pick up a brush and paint. Take a sea salt bath to ground any physical restlessness.

 

New Moon (1)

 

The new moon is hidden in the darkness of the sky. In the shadows of the night is immense power. It is in the darkness that seeds grow and become beautiful flowers or vegetables in your garden overtime. Now that you have cleared away and let go of what no longer serves you, you have room for something new. What would you like to create or manifest in your life? This is a wonderful time for new beginnings in the form of intentions. Think of these words; Focus & Imagine.

Use this time to meditate and write out what you would like to take form in your life. Is it a book project, expanded circle of friends or healthier lifestyle? Whatever it is, paint a beautifully vivid colorful picture of it in your mind, infusing it with lots of positive feelings. Everything you plant during this time will manifest in one form or another according to the Divine’s planning. Trust that this or something better will take shape in your life in the next couple of months or year.

The moons energy is peaked on the full and new moon dates, you can get in on the action on these days or anywhere within a three day time period after these dates. Life gets busy, put these dates in your calendar as a reminder. Happy Manifesting!

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Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach for empaths and artists. She specializes in working with professionals who get drained from the helping efforts, refill and rejuvenate their energies. Get her FREE gift -8 Simple Things that Release Chaos from Your Life Now! at www.lisahutchison.net