Coping with the unexpected death of a friend

Coping with the unexpected death of a friend

Death has a deep effect upon an empathic soul. The more you are attached to someone, the stronger your grief reaction will be. As an empath, your energy becomes enmeshed with those close to you. When a death occurs, it is a process of letting go of those physical connections and establishing a new connection that is only at a spiritual level.

Grief can become more complex when a death is unexpected or sudden. The state of shock you first experience cushions you in the initial days. It is also exhausting and draining because you are carrying the emotional pain of your loss, which has yet to be expressed. Some people experience trauma symptoms similar to PTSD after an intense loss, this is known as complicated grief.

Helpful Suggestions in Your Grief

1.) Acknowledge grief is work and it takes its toll physically, emotionally and spiritually when it is ignored. In order to heal, you need to feel. Make time for grief. If it pops up at inconvenient times, write about it at night or on the weekends.

2.) Feel the pain of the loss. This is the most difficult part of grief, without it there is no moving forward. At this point in the healing process, you may need to reach out to an empathic therapist who has expertise in grief/loss issues.

3.) Keep your routine. Structure will give you a sense of stability and control when emotions feel intense or come out of the blue.

2 friends, 6 months

One of my best friend’s died from cancer, last October. It was a month from the diagnosis to his death. Six months later on the exact date, I found out that a friend of mine that I met on Facebook and talked to by phone, died suddenly on her 54th birthday.

Sharon and I were both co-authors in 365 Ways to Connect with Your Soul and 365 Life Shifts books. I often visited her Facebook page when I didn’t see her posts in my newsfeed because there would be a variety of positive and uplifting messages. She felt this was something she needed and wanted to do every day for others. I am grateful she listened to that voice within that I often encourage others to do. I know many days, I was helped by her posts.

I read about her death when I visited her Facebook page the day after her birthday. At first, I was in complete shock and disbelief seeing a couple of posts from others that spoke about her death. I hoped it was a cruel joke, but it wasn’t. I felt angry and questioned God, why her? I reasoned saying that others could have been taken off this Earth instead. I also cried over the loss realizing that there will be no other phone calls or positive posts left by her on her page anymore. These feelings of denial, confusion, anger, shock, bargaining and sadness are all normal parts of the grieving process.

Here are some of her recent posts that inspired me, perhaps they will inspire you also. She often wrote one word to empathize the post which I have included here:

Inspire

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Courage

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Faith

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Some Days

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Practices I learned from early loss and death in my own life. 

1.) Shine your light. The Divine gave you this light for a reason. Go out there and be your best self without apology.

2.) Value your connections. Enjoy every moment of this journey called Life and everyone who is in it. Acknowledge and give others attentive love, you never know when you or the other will be called home.

This blog has been dedicated to those who have suffered sudden losses and to my friend Sharon Rothstein. I know you are shining your light down on us from heaven. xx

Lisa Hutchison LMHC works for empathic healers who feel drained after their helping efforts, refill and recharge their energy with counseling and angel card reading sessions. As a licensed mental health counselor and intuitive psychotherapist she helps you work through all stages of grief. http://www.lisahutchison.net 

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How to Manifest with the Moon

Are you sensitive to the moon’s gravitational pull? The moon has eight phases in one monthly cycle. During this time, empaths can sense or feel the emotional, physical and spiritual effects of the increasing and deceasing energy each month. Let’s make the most out of this natural occurrence, sync up your energy with that of the moon and manifest the heck out of it.

When you experience the full moon twice in one month, it is known as a blue moon. The months following could be powerhouses of creation if you work this energy to your favor. The full moon energy is a fabulous time to release what you no longer need in your life. You can choose to let go of emotions, illnesses, blocks to creativity or outdated beliefs. Whatever your heart desires, you get the idea. Make an effort to look for the full moon and stand in the moonlight whether it is from a window or outside to absorb her healing energy.

moon

The full moon is a great time of the month to not only clean house spiritually and emotionally but also physically. Organize papers, discard or donate items that you no longer need. Think of these words; Surrender & Release. Speaking of cleaning, it is a time to cleanse and charge your crystals. Place your crystals in a bowl and leave them in the light of the full moon.

Changes you may notice during the full moon are an increase in energy, which can be excellent during the day although not when you need to sleep. Many empaths cannot shut down and suffer from insomnia or restlessness physically, mentally or spiritually during the full moon.  Use this energy as fuel for your creativity. If you are awake do not stew in frustration, grab your journal and write or pick up a brush and paint. Take a sea salt bath to ground any physical restlessness.

 

New Moon (1)

 

The new moon is hidden in the darkness of the sky. In the shadows of the night is immense power. It is in the darkness that seeds grow and become beautiful flowers or vegetables in your garden overtime. Now that you have cleared away and let go of what no longer serves you, you have room for something new. What would you like to create or manifest in your life? This is a wonderful time for new beginnings in the form of intentions. Think of these words; Focus & Imagine.

Use this time to meditate and write out what you would like to take form in your life. Is it a book project, expanded circle of friends or healthier lifestyle? Whatever it is, paint a beautifully vivid colorful picture of it in your mind, infusing it with lots of positive feelings. Everything you plant during this time will manifest in one form or another according to the Divine’s planning. Trust that this or something better will take shape in your life in the next couple of months or year.

The moons energy is peaked on the full and new moon dates, you can get in on the action on these days or anywhere within a three day time period after these dates. Life gets busy, put these dates in your calendar as a reminder. Happy Manifesting!

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Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach for empaths and artists. She specializes in working with professionals who get drained from the helping efforts, refill and rejuvenate their energies. Get her FREE gift -8 Simple Things that Release Chaos from Your Life Now! at www.lisahutchison.net