Unlock Your Personal Freedom with Forgiveness

Growing up, I didn’t realize how much power I gave away to others. Each time I held a grudge, was judgmental or critical, I restricted my own energy and flow. What felt contradictory, was the fact that holding onto my anger felt energizing and made me feel strong. This is how the EGO and the hormonal rush we receive from an angry reaction deceives us into believing, our actions are right.

I have experienced a few family members, who have cut me off or ignored me because they felt offended by what I did or said. Growing up, I did what I was taught and followed suit. Throughout the years, I realized deep down, I didn’t feel happy, empowered or free. I began to question the beliefs and assumptions I held about other people and even myself.

Using Detachment

I learned many of the stories we make up in our heads about other people’s motives aren’t even true. People have their beliefs and perceptions, it has nothing to do with you. This is their story and you have your story. You can’t change how someone views you and your actions, as they can’t change your views. All of these conflicts we have with others feels personal, yet they aren’t.

When I began to forgive, I released years of bitterness and pain. In its place, I gained a whole new sense of freedom I never knew. This sense of peace comes from being unaffected by what other people say, do and think of me. Before, I would react and rebel. Now, I feel, let go and move on with my life.

How I Really Began to Heal

Louise Hay often referred to forgiveness as a great healer. Her concepts revolve around self-love, affirmations and forgiveness to heal physical, mental, emotional or spiritual illness. You can learn more about this in her book called, You Can Heal Your Life. This book, inspired me to forgive my step-father.

My step-father and I had no contact for over ten years. I wrote him a letter and he chose not to respond. I summoned up the courage to face him one final time, at his wake. My sister and I saw his scowl was gone and replaced with a peaceful glow. I wouldn’t have believed this, unless I saw it. My thoughts turned to regret because I wished this was the man I could have spent time with. Letting go of what could never be, I read my forgiveness letter and walked out.

A crowd of supporters waited outside the funeral home and remarked how I glowed and looked as if a weight was taken off my shoulders. It was. In that moment, I was free from years of fear, hurt, anger, and resentment. All of the energies which kept me tied to him, were gone. Forgiveness supplies you with a healing balm in which you feel a sensation of lightness or as if you are floating on air.

Going Back to God

Recently, I was reminded of the gift of forgiveness through an online retreat, which connected me to my Catholic roots. I remembered if you pray with a repentant heart, God forgives you as soon as you ask. In other words, the Divine knows when you are being authentic or just going through the motions. Once again, I could practice forgiveness and unhook the chains that bind me. The trick is getting out of the EGO and back into your heart.

Who do you need to forgive today?

Start with Yourself. Forgive yourself for not knowing, being judgmental, for all the times you were stuck in your own pain, fear and bitterness. Forgive yourself for bullying yourself, pushing yourself way beyond your limits and all the times you were harsh and unkind to yourself. Forgive yourself for not seeing the truth or reality of a situation.

Next, forgive the first person who comes into your mind. This is the person you most need to forgive. They may not deserve your forgiveness, remember God’s grace has forgiven you. The more you forgive, the better you feel. Forgive others for their abusive behaviors, all of the times you felt disappointed and hurt.

Keep repeating this process as needed. Forgiveness is like doing the laundry or washing the dishes, it is never completed after one time. This is a practice which must be re-visited time and time again.

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach who helps sensitive souls not just survive but shine. She is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; 8 Simple Things That Release Chaos from Your Life Now at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my You Tube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

How to Recognize Emotional Abuse & Rise Above It

Emotional abuse can be difficult to identify. Unlike other forms of abuse, there are no physical wounds. It is subtle, making it difficult to pinpoint the problem. Since, there appears to be a lack of evidence, the person who acts abusively, often denies any type of trauma has taken place. This rejection of reality, can cause long lasting damage to a person’s self-esteem and mental health.

Similar to physical and sexual abuse, emotional abuse is cyclical. This means you will experience a period of emotional abuse followed by what “seems” like a normal relationship.

What is Emotional Abuse?

Emotional abuse is a way to control another person through the manipulation of communication or action. Some overt forms of abuse are criticism, rage or making threats. Others use covert forms of abuse such as withholding communication, money or love.

People who act emotionally abusive seek to dominate all aspects of the relationship. This can include making all of or changing up plans, telling you what you wear and who you spend your time with. They will demand respect and loyalty, yet show you none. It is their way or the highway.

I have experienced both overt and covert forms of emotional abuse from family members, a grade school teacher and people who I thought were friends. When you experience emotional abuse at an early age, you are more likely to experience it as an adult, until you heal the pattern. Here is what I have learned and what I teach others:

Why Empaths are Vulnerable to This Type of Abuse

Many empaths are born to care deeply and find themselves being raised in emotionally restrictive or explosive families. Since, there is a lack of healthy feelings being expressed, the empath becomes the feeler of all the feelings in the family system. You not only carry everyone’s emotions energetically but also feel responsible for them. Talk about exhaustion! Your reactions go into soothing and comforting others, while walking on eggshells. This also reinforces the faulty thought; since you feel other’s emotions, you are supposed to do something about them.

It is not your job to fix others. As children, many empaths, are told they have the power to make others happy by doing what they want. No one asks what makes the empath happy, not even themselves. This is how you get accustomed to others manipulating you, while you become the ultimate people pleaser, at any cost.

How to Rise Above It

Separate Yourself from Those Who Use Emotional Abuse: When someone tries to shame and guilt you, don’t take the bait. Know you deserve better. Spend less time with this person and if the person refuses to take responsibility for their actions, end the relationship.

Learn about the Various Kinds of Emotional Abuse: Education builds your awareness to identify overt and covert signs of abuse.

Step into Your Own Power: Apply empathy and healing to your own wounds. Spend time building your self-esteem and confidence.

Where do you give your power away? Those who act abusive often play on your needs or areas of vulnerability. This can include financial help, how much you value the idea of a relationship or experiencing a sense of belonging and approval.

Forgive yourself for not seeing or recognizing the early signs of abuse and for not knowing better at that time. Remember, this is the most difficult kind of abuse to identify and many people often miss the signs.

If you are struggling, remember you are not alone. Seek out psychotherapy to help you heal past patterns of abuse and find a safe way to leave a current abusive situation.

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach who helps sensitive souls not just survive but shine. She is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; 8 Simple Things That Release Chaos from Your Life Now at http://www.lisahutchison.net

How to be Peaceful in Any Storm

How many times have you wished you were in a different situation? Your storm may come in the form of unrest due to a societal or political event, a specific person who acts chaotic, an illness which disrupts your life, or even an accident.

While you are being tossed about by the winds of change, you look for a quick fix or solution to get out. We all have fallen into the trap of believing life will get easier when you reach a certain destination or goal. Do these thoughts sound familiar? I will be peaceful when I am rich, complete my degree, feel healthy or have better relationships. No matter what external force is causing disorder in your life, you can connect with peace now.

Your distress comes from within

Reaction causes an attachment to the person, event or circumstance and dis-empowers you. Many believe if I just can get my anger and outrage out onto someone else, I will feel better. Some psychological research indicates the more you sit with and express anger, the angrier you feel. Too much anger can keep you stuck.

Anger is a healthy signal indicating something within yourself needs to change, not the other person. People are more receptive to listening when you speak, calmly, from a place of power. Learn how to observe your feelings without getting enmeshed with them.

Peace, like happiness, is not achieved by focusing on what is missing or lacking. Your monkey mind’s thoughts jump around looking for scarcity, judging others and even yourself as wrong. When you wish or try to control others, you resist what is here right now. Let me ask you; What if you could be peaceful in this very moment, with all of its ugly warts and imperfections?

It is not the event or your current circumstances that cause overwhelm, but rather your thoughts, feelings and the stories you make up about it. You assign meaning because you are afraid of living in the unknown. Here is the kicker; sometimes the change you crave is the one you fear the most. If you could sit in this space, wisdom would emerge. Many times you avoid this experience and replay worn out scripts from the past.

What if… You could trust, you are where you need to be

Often when you stop and breathe, you acknowledge how safe and protected you are. There is a greater power at work. The truth is we don’t know what this moment is in the big picture of Life. This does not mean you need to sit around and do nothing. There are experiences to have and lessons to learn in this day. Accepting life as it is, heals you and allows new insights to reveal themselves to you.

Moving forward

Whatever is happening in your life or not, it’s okay. Embrace this extraordinary time and find your peace because it is right there inside of you, just waiting to flow.

You may also be interested in these blogs:

How Can I Get Happy?

How to Regain Balance When Your World Falls Apart

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach who helps sensitive souls not just survive but shine. She is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; 8 Simple Things That Release Chaos from Your Life Now at http://www.lisahutchison.net

How Archangel Michael Discharges Negative Holiday Energy

Many sensitive souls dread the holidays because it means more time with family and social occasions that you would rather avoid. Empaths can absorb other’s expectations and energies leaving them fatigued on a regular day but are especially vulnerable during the holiday season. To help you not just survive but shine through the holiday season, I wanted to talk about a good friend of mine, Archangel Michael and why he is the ONE to call upon before, during and after these events.

Before your holiday event: Crystal Clear Intentions

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Archangel Michael does wonders with releasing pre-party jitters. Set your intentions for this event. One of my favorite intentions is, “No matter what happens, I make my own fun.” I enjoy this statement because it is impossible for fear and fun to be experienced at the same time.  Archangel Michael helps you to create crystal clear intentions such as these. Ask for his help in creating intentions that resonate with you and protect your energy. Speaking of protection, ask him to surround you with his royal blue/purple light and energy. Give any anxiety over to him and allow for his courage to enter your internal body.

During the event: You are Safe

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As soon as you notice negativity entering your energy field, ask Archangel Michael to release it. Physically, when you feel a twinge in your stomach, light headed or a sensation of heat, ask him to come and vacuum it out. Emotionally, when you feel guilty, angry or fatigued ask him to help you release that. Ask for his help to identify and release other’s resentments, jealousies and expectations. He will also help you protect your boundaries with assertiveness. Learn what you need in these situations and then follow through with taking care of yourself.

After the event: Remember Who You Are

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When you leave an event, you may notice fatigue, irritability or sadness. At times you may feel insecure and obsess about what you said or what others said to you. Ask Archangel Michael to cut any attachments to other’s energies. He does this by slicing through any cords that others subconsciously or consciously have attached to your energy field. This cutting action on his part releases this residual energy. “Remind yourself that you are a powerful, loving and creative child of God, You are very loved.” Thank Archangel Michael for his protection and support. Remember that he is with you anytime you need him, all you have to do is ask!

Share with me any intentions in the comment section that you will use prior to holiday events.

All angel cards featured in this blog are from the Archangel Oracle Card Deck from Doreen Virtue, Ph.D.   If you would like to purchase click this Amazon link.  I receive a small portion of the sale, with no additional cost to you. Thank you if you choose to purchase through me.

Lisa Hutchison LMHC work for empathic healers who want to recharge their depleted energies in order to heal themselves and others through angel card readings, psychotherapy sessions and writing coaching. She offers angel card readings by phone and in person; contact her at lisadhutch@verizon.net for more information or visit http://www.lisahutchison.net/Services  

 

3 Ways to Outsmart Creative Saboteurs and Be Successful

Creative saboteurs are sneaky and underhanded due to the subconscious fears they project. Often like the boogeyman in the closet, these fears lose power once faced head on. Whether they appear from your family, a friend or even a colleague, their main goal is to block your progress. The biggest saboteur that I have encountered is within myself.

 

Lisa Hutchison Connecting Empathic Helpers & Artist to Spirit (c) 2016

My personal journey

I have been enjoying a great flow of creative success coming off of two bestselling collaborative books, obtaining a contract for a CEU I have written for licensed therapists and hearing that Chicken Soup for the Soul is publishing my story, Focusing on What Have in a second book devoted to Mom’s. In addition, I accepted an opportunity to speak at my women’s business networking group presenting a creative group activity. At first, I was happy and then scared sh*tless. I felt off physically, mentally and emotionally which was different than the normal performance anxiety. To dig deeper and release what I no longer needed, I scheduled a healing session.

During my session, I received the following messages from my angels; “You are doing good and you can do this.” These reassuring statements put me at ease, which allowed me to hear the next message delivered in the form of one word, “saboteur.” That message struck a chord of truth within me. I told this saboteur energy, I know you are trying to protect me but I can do this. After I spoke up and faced this inner demon, I heard snippets of various lyrics all featuring the word “love.” Through this Reiki healing session balancing my energies and my inner awakening, I felt 100 % better!

Let’s look a little deeper at the saboteur energy

The saboteur energy causes disruption when you are experiencing a flow of success. It is based on subconscious fears that we all have within our psyche. Some people turn this energy outward to destroy another person’s success, while others turn it inward to block their own success.

As an empath, you always need to ask is this me or someone else’s energy I am absorbing and living out? Often times it is both and here is why. When you are around a person who is jealous or insecure of your success they speak comments or show behaviors to you that are less than supportive. If you are not protecting your energies and keeping a present moment awareness, you take the ball and run with it, believing these fears and blocking your own success.

What is a creative to do?

  1. Awareness– Get to know your inner saboteur and make friends with him or her. Listen and observe how this energy shows up in your life.
  2. Acknowledging– When this energy shows up, talk to the fear and thank him or her.
  3. Action– Take action to show you can do this! Step into your power and take the next step with confidence and ease.

 

If you get hung up on any step, seek support.

Every successful, happy and healthy creative gets support from others. Healing sessions are wonderful for releasing old patterns as you grow as I have demonstrated in this piece. Psychotherapy sessions are essential for uncovering hidden motivations such as the saboteur and bringing them to light.

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More about Lisa: Lisa Hutchison is a licensed mental health counselor with over 14 years of experience offering therapy sessions in person and by phone. As an international bestselling author, she understands the ups and downs of the creative life and will show you specific ways to get you unstuck. As a certified angel card reader she channels the angels messages to help you move forward in clear, gentle ways. http://www.lisahutchison.net