How to Let Go of Anger in Healthy Ways

Sensitive people may have more difficulty with intense emotions because of the depth they feel of emotion. You will be more affected by the injustices of the world, to those around you and even yourself. You could experience strong emotional responses, such as anxiety, depression and even anger.

Anger is a healthy, normal emotion. Do not repress or deny this feeling. It is a signal that something needs to change. When people feel or become helpless to enact change, they either turn that anger inward to express a depression or outward to express rage.

Here are some healthy ways to cope with anger, especially the anger you can’t seem to let go of.

  1. Identify your anger. Some times you don’t know why you are angry or the reason you think you are angry is not really the reason why you feel upset. To uncover any deeper underlying pain, make a list of all the reasons you are angry. Naming anger, big and small, can lessen the hold it has over you.
  2. Write down in detail why you are angry. Get it out of your head and onto the page.
  3. Express empathy for yourself. Look through your list and tell yourself, “Of course, you are angry! I get it. This isn’t fair or right and I can see why you feel this way.”
  4. Hand your anger over to a Higher Power. Now you have identified your anger and acknowledged it, surrender it to the Divine.
  5. Get Physical. After you have released the emotion from your mind, go for a walk or do some form of exercise to release the tension in your physical body.
  6. Change Your Perspective. Imagine what an outside person would tell you about your situation. What would your best friend advise you to do?
  7. Consider an assertive conversation. If you feel anger towards someone, you may need to express your feelings and set boundaries in an assertive way.
  8. If you continue to feel angry, consider talking to a professional who can help you.

How do you let go of anger in healthy ways?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

How to Be Hopeful in Tough Times

Hope fuels a sense of purpose and energy. You know without a doubt, I can do this! With the human brain’s tendency to focus more on the negative, it can be challenging to find hope in tough times. If you have doubts or despair, the good news is you can build and develop an optimistic thinking style. Throughout this blog, I will reference research and material from a recent continuing education training I attended from Dr. Jaime Kurtz.

Why Choose Hope?

According to research, when you are realistically hopeful, you are more relaxed. (Kurtz, 2022).

  • Your brain wants to explore possibilities through play and creativity.
  • You find it easier to problem solve and grow.
  • You experience better health and a stronger immune system.
  • Hopeful people are more sociable, well liked, are better leaders and even make more money.
  • Hopeful people cope better with setbacks and have better marriages.

Why Being Hopeful isn’t Always Easy

Remember how I said, the brain has a tendency to focus more on the negative than the positive? It takes at least three positives to overcome one negative. For some of us, who are more sensitive, it may take even more. This emphasizes the importance of protecting your energies from lower vibrations, moods and thoughts, including yourself and others.

Our routines and habits often get in our way. When under stress, we tend to fall into habitual patterns of thinking and doing. There is a upside and downside to this. Habits can shield the brain from harm or too much input. The unfortunate part is we often turn to mindless behaviors, such as scrolling endlessly through social media, obsessively watching the news, thinking pessimistically, ruminating or worrying and even eating comfort foods. All of these activities keeps you stuck and at times feeling hopeless.

Let’s just admit it…life can be really, really hard. For this reason, we can lose hope easily. The realistic aspects of living life can bring your mood down. People have financial stress, health issues, relationship problems, etc. When you are a helper, in the role of healing others, you can absorb other’s negativities and lower energies.

How Can I Be More Hopeful?

A part of being hopeful is changing how you think. According to Dr. Jaime Kurtz, an optimistic thinking style has four elements.

  1. Temporary- Knowing whatever you are experiencing will pass.
  2. Local- Thoughts are focused only on your current situation and no other.
  3. Not Personal- You know this is not entirely my fault.
  4. Controllable- There IS something I can do about this.

Stress management or filling your cup is essential. This can be unique to each one of you. Find activities that nourish and replenish you. Some ideas are exercise, being in nature, listening to music, or practicing a hobby. If you haven’t seen my book, I Fill My Cup: A Journal For Compassionate Helpers, you may want to check it out. As Kurtz states, “Hopeful people engage in more preventative behaviors.”

Pennebaker (1997) discusses the power of story telling to increase hope. The instruction is to construct a clear narrative of what you want and how you might get it. You can write or tell your story to a trusted friend, coach or counselor.

Reframing your thoughts- Think of a previous hopeless or negative situation that has happened. Next name three things that help you see the bright side of life because you did not get what you wanted.

Spend more time with hopeful and positive people. As many of you absorb the lower energies from others, you can also absorb or take in the positive energies. Choose wisely.

Being hopeful may not be easy, but it is possible. YOU CAN DO IT!

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

REFERENCE: Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process.
Psychological Science, 8, 162-166.

You’re Ready for Success- Full Moon in Virgo

Empathic helpers often have difficulty balancing their own needs and others. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to experience insecure or critical thoughts. At times, we turn these harsh words onto ourselves and sometimes we push them out onto others. In order to experience the success that is ours, the Virgo moon is the perfect time to heal and release perfectionism. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Virgo full moon, which occurs March 18th.

Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

The Virgo Full Moon

The full moon is a time to go within and release anything that is preventing you from moving forward. Sort through your entire life find what is working and what you can let go of on all levels. Virgo is about health and being healthy. Look at what drains and replenishes your energy physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually.

Virgo full moon is a time to be honest with yourself. Look within and ask are you being too humble or perhaps too picky or critical? Having attention to detail can be wonderful, however perfectionism hurts ourselves and others. Is worry or anxiety getting in your way?

This is the time to stop doubting yourself. Yes, you are good enough! Repeat after me. I do enough, I give enough, I am enough

Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path.

Listen deep within. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water. Grounding is important with this moon.

Full moons can heighten our emotions. Take a breath, be mindful and watch the emotions rise and fall like ocean waves. You do not need to get attached to any one feeling, thought or thing at this time.  

Let’s pick some cards to see what we need to focus on during this full moon Virgo. This reading resonate with you b-day, moon or rising sign in Pisces, Aries or Virgo. All empaths, no matter what your astrological sign because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

How can you release your inner critic and step into success?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Let’s Come Straight from the Heart- Full moon in Leo

Empathic helpers often have difficulty balancing their own needs and others. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to get caught up in other people’s energy. In our quest to put ourselves onto our ever growing list of priorities, sometimes we don’t express ourselves assertively and instead act prideful and from the ego. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Leo full moon, which occurs February 16th.

Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

The Leo Full Moon

Leo full moon is a time to let your pride go. A great question to ask during this full moon is; Am I coming from the heart or my ego?  Leos and all empathic folks have a big heart but we can overdo it during a full moon because the energy is increased.

Valentine’s Day is two days before this full moon. Make sure you give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Watch your pridefulness. It couldn’t hurt to let your partner be right.

Find balance between your needs and the needs of others. Am you expecting too much or maybe your giving too much? Remember everyone counts, everyone matters. For those who are overly helpful, this means you too. Consider yourself. If you are on the other side of the coin, consider others, have empathy put yourself in their shoes. This is a great time for creativity! Use the confidence of this full moon to shine.

Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. You can speak your truth and set limits with kindness.

Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path.

With the full moon, be prepared for some kind of letting go. You may need to move on, in order to make room for the new. What needs to go? It could be a relationship. Listen deep within. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water.

Let’s pick some cards to see what we need to focus on during this full moon Leo.  This reading resonate with you b-day in Leo or Aquarius or have a sun, moon or rising. All empaths, no matter what your astrological sign because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

Am I coming from my heart or my ego?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Discover Why Archangels Want to Help Sensitive People Succeed

Most empaths and empathic people feel angels around them. This is because highly sensitive people have the ability to sense unseen supports and positive energy. You may also find you pick up on and absorb negative energy, which can leave you drained and depleted energy wise. Luckily, you have the Archangels to help guide, support, heal and protect you.

What is The Difference between Angels and Archangels?

Angels, have a strong vibrational energy. You will find they work more on an individual basis, such as your guardian angel. Archangels, being closer to God, have stronger powers than angels because their consciousness vibrates at a higher level. This allows them to work with groups of people, such as empathic helpers and artists.

We all know the world needs empathic helpers and artists to hold the space for themselves and others. Each time a sensitive person heals and shines their light, they become an example for others to do the same. The Archangels want to help people with sensitivities succeed because this is what will heal humanity and Mother Earth.

The Help Archangels Offer

Guidance- Archangels want you to find your life’s path and purpose. Anytime you feel lost, uncertain or insecure, call upon the Archangels. You were designed by the Divine to vibrate your unique frequency in this time and space.

Archangels often will offer their guidance through messages, signs and symbols. Each archangel has its own unique signature. A few of the many ways Archangels guide you is through a special song, numerical signs and a variety of synchronicities. Archangels are not limited in their communications, however at times you may be blocked to receiving. The good news is you can learn how to receive their messages more clearly.

Support- Archangels support the sensitive, when you ask. You can learn a variety of ways to tune in, ask for and receive the support you deserve. You can feel their support through a feeling of peace, joy, a warmth or even a new person or information enters your life, at the right time. Archangels want you to know you are never alone and they have your back.

Healing- Archangels love to heal. They restore health by clearing and rejuvenating your energy. Some people have even experienced miracles when working with the angels. When you receive a healing from the Archangels, you could feel a lightness, a warmth or relief from symptoms.

Protection- Archangels know how important it is to protect your energies and give you a sense of safety. Their protection comes to you in many forms. You may feel a strong intuition to not be around other people or in certain places. Sometimes your prayers are not answered because you are being protected from an aspect that you cannot see yet. You may hear a loud voice warning you to stay away.

No matter what type of help you receive from the Archangels, you will feel better.

I am excited to share this announcement. I have created a special 7 week online self-paced course, for empathic helpers and artists, through the Archangels. If you want to get more specific on which Archangel can help your sensitivity, how to connect with that angel and receive guidance, you will want to take this class. I am also offering a special introductory price. This price will increase for the Spring/Summer 2022 course offering.

Click here to learn more & purchase

Here are some other blogs about Archangels!

Why Archangel Gabriel is the Best Writer’s Angel

Why Angels Are Important in the Manifestation Process

How Archangel Michael Discharges Negative Holiday Energy

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

How Being at the Beach Surprisingly Encouraged My Health

I found myself at a familiar place this morning, one of our local beaches. Remembering all the times a beach, pond, river or lake has supported me emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally, I felt at ease. Growing up in Massachusetts, we often went to Wollaston beach in Quincy or Nantasket beach in Hull. I loved playing in the sand and the surf. As I grew older, we went to White Horse beach in Plymouth. My preference was to bake in the sun and hang out with the teenagers my age. As an adult, I find the most solace in walking the beach, when it is off season.

The beach saved my life

Once in my twenties, I had suicidal thoughts. Rather than acting on them, I got in my car and drove to the beach. This was a dark time of uncovering past abuse and facing the fact that some people I thought I could trust, denied the reality I lived through. My world was broken and my sense of self was shaken. I remember standing out at the water’s edge, praying to God for help. It was a slow road but I was supported and guided away from these thoughts, to health. I am grateful to not have acted on these thoughts and have a career that has helped many others, in their healing journey.

The beach helped me grieve

The summer after my brother-in- law died, I was fifteen years old. I often went to the beach with my sister, nephew and niece. It was nice to have a sense of normalcy and be around people without having to talk to them. Despite my sadness and loss, I could reconnect to the present moment through my five senses. I felt the warmth of the sun, sand and water on my body. I heard the seagulls and surf. I saw the beautiful blue sky, waves and brown sand. I smelled the salty air, coconut oil and suntan lotions. I tasted the salty air and sandwiches we brought for lunch. I found myself again at the beach every month for a year, after my Mom’s death.

The beach is my church and home

I found a special connection to God and my soul at the beach. This place calms and grounds me. As soon as I walk out on the sand, I am received, held and supported. Slowing down, I receive guidance and marvel in the beauty of this life.

I find myself being drawn back to the beach because of the ongoing pandemic, political divides, worldly issues and even my own uprising within, known as perimenopause. All of these instances, hold a grief but on a different level. l know without a doubt, the beach supports all of this and me too. I am truly grateful to live so close to a variety of water bodies.

For Empaths: A Special Section

Water in any form is highly healing for empaths. I know many of you may not live near natural bodies of water, but you can incorporate water into your daily energy routine. These practices help you clear others’ energies, hydrate, ground and release what you no longer need.

How has water or a body of water helped you heal?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Be Responsible and Live your Dream-Pisces Full Moon

Empathic helpers often have difficulty bringing their dreams into reality. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to get caught up in other people’s energy. It takes a lot of courage for these people to set boundaries and focus on themselves. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Pisces full moon, which occurs September 20th.

Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

The Pisces Full Moon

Pisces full moon asks you to follow your gut instinct and trust the answers you seek, will come. All of your answers come from within.

It is time to get in touch with your feelings, you may find your psychic abilities are heightened and fated relationships come into your life. Release all your fears and insecurities at this time and focus on being in this moment. Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. Practice grounding to bring the spiritual energy in balance with the practical. You can find a balance between being responsible and living the life of your dreams. 

Write down your dreams. If you could do or be anything, what would be on your list? Find one item on your list and do something about it. Whether you practice that item or set some three month goals towards you, you are now balancing the practical with the spiritual.

With the full moon, be prepared for letting go. You may need to move on, in order to make room for the new. What needs to go? It could be a relationship. Listen deep within. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water.

We are right on the cusp of Virgo and Libra. Virgo/Libra and Pisces people and other empathic souls, this reading may resonate with you if you have a birthday in these signs, moon or rising sign. I always say, all empaths, no matter what your astrological sign, can be affected because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

How can you be responsible yet live out your dreams?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Be kind to you: Boost your self-compassion with these tips

Self- compassion is an easy concept to understand, yet many people struggle with being kind to themselves. As professional helpers, we all know having self-compassion benefits our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health, yet we find it difficult to incorporate this kind of thinking into our lives.

Why is this?

As human beings we resist change. It is easier to stick to our routines, even when these behaviors drain or harm us. Many helpers have formed a habit of putting their needs last, in order to help others. In our society, this type of endless giving, becomes positively reinforced, yet it is not a positive when you lack boundaries.

Many health care workers struggle with self- compassion because change takes mental work. You may be finding yourself in a state of chronic stress. Your jobs have been challenging, but add on the pandemic, you may be feeling as if you can’t take on one more task. 

Another factor is, it is easier for your mind to focus on the negative or what is wrong. Rather than focusing on a positive self-care activity, your mind prefers to focus on the struggle of grinding forward. This is a great survival mechanism, however, it does not assist your growth mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

How can we get over this hurdle of not taking care of yourself?

  • Educate yourself about the importance of self-compassion
  • Schedule self-compassion practices into your calendar with reminders
  • When the opportunity presents itself, practice self-compassion. Forgive yourself when you don’t follow through or are giving yourself harsh criticism

“Stop beating yourself up for beating yourself up.”- Eleanor Brownn

Do you ever notice, it is easier to treat others with compassion than ourselves? We all have an inner critic, a judgmental voice which brings our mood down with negative, self- critical thoughts. The best way to decrease the inner critics influence on your life is to first become aware of it.

One technique I teach my counseling and coaching clients is; Notice, Acknowledge, Re-direct

  • Increase your awareness- Mindfulness exercises will help you notice critical thoughts more readily. Sometimes, it is helpful to have another person, such as a coach or therapist, to bring attention to faulty thoughts.
  • Acknowledge this voice and the feeling- Often this voice crops up when we feel vulnerable. You could be feeling scared, anxious, fatigued or tired. Are you experiencing compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma or burnout?  You can say to yourself; I know you are scared, tired etc.
  • Redirect- Now is the time to focus on what you want. Put it together. I hear you. I know you are experiencing compassion fatigue. We are going to make a counseling appointment or fill in the blank (self-care activity) ______________________________.

Cognitive therapy works well to increase self-compassion and decrease the inner critic. Cognitive therapy is developed by Aaron T. Beck.  In therapy, the therapist helps you develop skills for identifying and changing faulty beliefs, distorted thinking, and implementing new behaviors. This can be useful for developing self-compassion.

Practice self-kindness. Sometimes we can’t think of how to be kind to ourselves. Think of a kind person in your life, what advice would she give to you? How would you talk to a friend or your child?

Compassionate letter writing exercise. This information is from Self-compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. (Neff, 2011) on Amazon.com

The first step in this process is to sit quietly and think about something that triggers feelings of inadequacy, or something about you or your situation that makes you feel badly about yourself. It is important not to judge the emotions or to try to fix them. The focus is on awareness and experience of the feelings.

In the next step, think about an imaginary friend who is kind, loving, accepting, and compassionate to you. This friend knows all about you, even the piece of you that makes you feel bad. How would this friend respond about giving yourself such harsh self-criticism and judgment?

Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of this compassionate friend. This involves asking questions such as;

What would they say to you?

How would they remind you that you are only human and humans are not perfect?

Would they suggest you do anything differently?

Once the letter is finished, you can put it away for a while. When you are ready, retrieve the letter and read it again.

Learn to laugh with yourself

Laughter, as a coping mechanism, can decrease stress, improve memory and even make you more productive. Whether you live or work in a stressful environment, find something to laugh about. This eases the psychological and physical tension you carry. Embrace the fact that no one is perfect and laugh off your screw-ups. A mistake can be an experience you learn from or an experience to reinforce negative thoughts and feelings. The choice is yours.

How can you be more kind to yourself?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

How to Say No: An essential guide to setting boundaries for helpers

Since compassionate helpers want to please others and help, it is often foreign for them to set a limit or say no. When empathic givers say no, they are often plagued with guilt. Sometimes this is solely within themselves, other times it is from absorbing other’s manipulations. When empathic people teach others they are limitless in their giving, this leads other people to expect constant help and in some cases, even demand it.

The importance of boundaries

The risk of not setting boundaries for the helper can range from anxiety, depression, compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma and even burnout. If you would like to learn more about compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma and burnout, I have included this video for you to watch. Remember, boundaries are a part of self-care.

Boundaries teach others how to treat you. Limits show without a doubt what is acceptable and unacceptable behavior. These invisible lines protect you from abuse. Boundaries allow you to have your own separate feelings, thoughts and actions. Now, you know why it is important to have boundaries, let’s get to how to actually do it.

Identify what is your boundary

This part of the process, increases your self-awareness and is not to be shared with anyone else. Take a moment and write down what you want and why. Others do not need to know your reasons for limit setting, but you do. If you have a close relationship you may want to share when you set a boundary or at a later date, why this is important to you. Sharing your why is not required or even necessary. Sometimes your explanation waters down your message. The next time you say, yes, think about why you say, yes. Is this something you want to do or are you trying to avoid fear or confrontation?

Communicate

It is important to be direct about what you want and need. You do not need to explain or justify your reason for a limit. Say what you want in simple terms, without apologizing.

For example:

It is inappropriate when you____________________________ (speak that way or touch me)

Then you may need to redirect the person’s behavior. I would appreciate if you ask me rather than assuming I will do it for you, etc. If you are dealing with a patient who is touching you, Re-direct them and say place your hands here instead.

When someone asks or requests your help and you are unsure of your answer, feel free to ask additional questions. How long do you expect this task will last? Perhaps you can help in a different way then requested and offer that. If you don’t know your answer, give yourself the space to figure it out. Tell the other person, I will have to get back to you tomorrow or I have to check my schedule first.

If you are impulsive with your answers, you may want to read How to slow down impulsive decisions and improve relationships

Practice saying no

First start saying no to little things, then work your way up to the big things you do not want to do. Sometimes saying no is not as big of a deal as you think it will be. Often your anticipatory anxiety, the anxiety you feel before you say no, makes it worse than the reality of saying it.

Get comfortable with being uncomfortable

When you set a limit, expect some people to be upset with you. People pleasers who feel other’s disappointment or anger, can feel threatened. When a person feels threatened, we want to avoid the threat at all costs. You can survive other’s negative feelings towards you. You will do this by getting comfortable with being uncomfortable. Remind yourself, you are setting a limit to help others. Sometimes people don’t need help but rather need to learn for themselves or even hit rock bottom.

Instill consequences

Boundaries are not meant to be a punishment but rather a natural consequence of behavior. A consequence needs to be firm. For example. If you continue to talk to me this way, I will end our phone call until you can talk to me calmly. If you continue to yell at me, I will be in the other room. Feel free to join me when you want to talk calmly. If you break plans with me at the last minute or do not show up or call me, I will call you out on your behaviors and let you know how I feel.

Practice, practice, practice

The well-known proverb says, if at first you don’t succeed, try, try again. Practice setting limits with yourself and others. The more you do it, the less anxious you will feel.

What is your experience with setting boundaries and saying no?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Be your quirky, unique self- Aquarius Full Moon

Empathic helpers often have difficulty stepping outside of their shell. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to go deep within. Couple this with others insensitivity, it takes a lot of courage for these people to shine their inner light. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Aquarius full moon, which occurs July 23rd.

Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

The Aquarius Full Moon

The full moon in Aquarius supports the energy of showing the world the real you! If you have been following my previous months videos, we had the message from the Cancer moon of speaking your truth and coming out of your shell. The previous Gemini moon’s energy, encouraged you to assert yourself, be courageous and follow your gut instincts.

Now is the time, to express your feelings from your heart, without blame and take responsibility. Your thoughts may be more towards humanity. You may be thinking, what is my life’s purpose and what is getting in the way of my helping humanity?

Allow life to unfold, without becoming too detached. Aquarius energy can get stuck in thoughts. Don’t detach from you, be yourself! This means your unique, quirky self. We need everyone’s light to shine bright on this planet.

With the full moon, be prepared for letting go. You may need to move on, in order to make room for the new. What needs to go? Listen deep within. Remember, your answers may not be conventional. When it comes to the emotions, expect the unexpected and unusual. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water.

Video Reading

We are right on the cusp of cancer and Leo. Leo/Cancer and Aquarius people and other empathic souls, this reading may resonate with you if you have a birthday in Cancer sun, moon or rising sign. I always say, all empaths, no matter what your astrological sign, can be affected because you are sensitive to energies.

Listen to the video for the full reading and to see what cards I pick. These are what you most need to focus on during this full moon in Aquarius.

What is something about you that makes you quirky or unique? Let’s celebrate our differences!

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC