How to Recognize Manipulation & Protect Your Energy

We have all been fooled at one time or another by manipulative behaviors. Sometimes it is so subtle, you can’t see it coming until it is too late. When you feel its influence in your life, know you are not failing at your inner work. Remember when another tries to control you in order to suit their needs, it is a reflection of their lower energy and not your own.

Manipulative behavior is found in chaotic situations and is often used to divert attention away from the real issue. There will be times when you feel frustrated because you see what is going on yet no one else gets it. Just because no one else sees it, does not mean it isn’t happening. Trust your instincts.

Do you know the signs of manipulative behaviors?

Power– Where there is power, look for manipulations. You are being influenced every single day. No, not me, you say! How many times have you bought a product that you saw online or on TV that was hyped and it frankly sucked? News and advertisements are two outlets that work to manipulate your emotions. The most popular emotion is fear; how many products are on the market because of our fear of aging or death?

That is too good to be true! The song, Little lies from Fleetwood Mack plays in my head as I write this,”Tell me lies Tell me sweet little lies.” When you are feeling vulnerable, you are more susceptible to this. It is understandable that when you are in pain that you want to hear the good. Sometimes in this state, you ignore your better judgment knowing in the end, whatever is promised is not going to be delivered upon. Watch for this one in the upcoming months as there will be an increase with these lies during the political season.

Guilt trips Woe is me! When someone acts like a victim, it is a manipulative invitation to help or rescue them. Do not do for others what they can do for themselves. Read more about that here. How to Best Serve Your Client’s Internal Growth. Other guilt trips can be uncomfortable sojourns in which the person goes radio silent and there is no communication at all. Some will threaten themselves with harm or others, in these instances contact the police and your local mental health crisis center.

Oh, you sweet talker! This person tries to make a connection with you before it has authentically developed. For example; calling you a friend upon first meeting you, telling you what they think you want to hear; you are so smart, so beautiful etc. The best one I have heard recently was, I am not trying to sell to you and 10 minutes later she was trying to sell me something! To answer your question, no, I did not buy from her.

 4 Ways to Protect Your Energy from Getting Depleted:

  1. Remember and have awareness of a person’s history and their behavioral tactics.
  2. Trust your instincts. If you only focus on what a person says, you will be an easy target for manipulation. It is through your intuition that you will know these lies. When something feels off, trust in that, no matter who that person is.
  3. Decide whether you will speak up or detach.
  4. Consult a professional counselor. As an intuitive psychotherapist, I can feel in my body when a client tells me her story and someone else is attempting to manipulate her. There are many times, especially in instances of family and romantic relationships, in which you are too close to see what is going on, yet you know it doesn’t feel good. I can assist you with what to say, how to respond and how to protect your energies in these types of instances.

Lisa Hutchison LMHC, intuitive psychotherapist, works for empaths who want to recharge their depleted energy in order to serve with their unique gifts of sensitivity. Want 8 Simple Things that Release Chaos from your Life NOW! Get it here FREE http://www.lisahutchison.net

How to Successfully Deal with Passive Aggressive Behavior

Empaths can read people really well due to their sensitivity. Yet, there is a personality type that continues to baffle you and yes sometimes even me. You know the type, a seemingly agreeable person who smiles and acts kind yet speaks with cutting remarks, misplaces or forgets important items or consistently arrives late. Passive aggressive behavior causes chaos in relationships and is an energy drain for everyone, not only empaths, due to their denial, procrastination, pouting, silent treatments and lack of responsibility for one’s emotions and behaviors.

The psychology behind this

This person is not evil, just scared. She or he has not learned how to express anger in healthy ways and most likely was shamed or threatened for any outward expression of this feeling as a child. There is a feeling of powerlessness, which is why this person seeks to have power in indirect ways. In order to feel safe, this person denies and represses the feeling. As the saying goes, what gets repressed gets expressed in one form or another. That is why the underhanded comments slip out, the tasks go unfinished or appointments are missed.

What can you do?

Step 1: Trust your instincts. When interacting with this type of person, it is difficult to put their resistant behavior into words. You know that there is a disconnection between what a person says and what a person does. You feel their hidden hostility, yet when you confront this person on their behavior she or he will deny it to the hills.

Step 2: Recognize the pattern. Many empaths go the avoidance route because you don’t know what to do. You will leave the situation politely but feel confused and exhausted. A part of my job is to teach you how to maintain your energy despite outside influences. Avoidance can be a good start although I would like to help you choose your behaviors from a place of power.

For those that get stuck in a dance of frustration or freeze because of an inability to detach from energy; begin to become aware of what is happening even if it is after the situation is over. Learn to see the patterns and refuse to participate in them. Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again yet expecting a different result. You are the one who needs to change because they won’t.

Step 3:  Become like Spock. Remind yourself that their behavior is not personal. Do not react even though every fiber of your being wants to. Take a breather, walk away and practice relaxation techniques. Once you emotionally disengage and detach from the situation, identify that this person is angry and not you.

Step 4: Flood them with light and love. This is for the light workers and enlightened ones out there. The dynamics of a relationship can change from one person detaching. I have witnessed miracles in my own and my client’s lives when they are able to send blessings to those that trigger them.

Two ways to do this is imagine them surrounded in white light and pray for them. Don’t forget to give yourself the same kindness and compassion. This is not easy to do, if you are struggling with this one take heart that most people do not get to this level of being around difficult people.

Step 5: Learn assertiveness skills. For those relationships that are close to you such as family and friends you will want to come to a sense of peace and empowerment. A gentle but direct approach that focuses on the behavior is what works because these people fear confrontation and anger. If they suspect any type of perceived challenge or threat they will avoid and deny. In the end, you may handle the situation with the utmost tact and diplomacy and still the person denies their behavior.

Lisa Hutchison LMHC works specifically with sensitive healers who want to recharge and refuel their energies from challenging relationships such as these through phone counseling and angel card readings. I will address your specific situation and we will come up with a step by step plan to empower you for a future interaction. The more you step into your power, you will deal more successfully with this type of relationship dynamic without getting drained.

To break free from the chaos of relationship dynamics go to www.lisahutchison.net and help yourself to 8 Simple Things that Release Chaos from your Life Now!

The Truth about the 2 Types of Sensitivity

You are too sensitive! I heard that a lot when I was a child. Interestingly, I haven’t heard it at all as an adult. What changed? I learned to honor my sensitivity for the gift that it is. A part of that honoring lies in surrounding myself with people just like me. This world needs more sensitivity, let’s make sure we are joining together and flooding it with the best kind.

Your Sensitivity is Beautiful

Type 1: Empathy– This Divine gift comes from a deep sense of caring about others and feeling into their emotional or physical states. Empathy often manifests through psychic knowingness, visions and sensations. At times you may feel too much and become engulfed by the experience of empathy. You do not want to hide or get rid of your empathy, not like you really could anyways! After all, it is a part of who you are. You can protect and nurture this gift with proper boundary setting thereby decreasing overwhelm.

I want to give you a little heads up … As you grow older, your sensitivity will increase. I am not telling you this to cause anxiety but rather to give you awareness. This is not due to a failure in coping on your part but rather a spiritual progression of becoming more open. You can choose to look at this as an opportunity for learning new ways of protecting your precious energy, as I have.

Type 2: An Ego Imbalance– This kind of sensitivity comes from a sense of separation and presents as defensiveness and fear. Ego imbalances stem from psychological wounds that have not been addressed and are now getting projected outward onto others. You find this kind of imbalance with sensitivity in personality disorders such as narcissistic, histrionic, antisocial and borderline traits.

I have lived with both types of sensitivity. My step-father had an ego imbalance and I was born an empath, making our connection the perfect storm. I never knew what would set him off because anything could and it never made any sense. A lot of my time and energy growing up was spent trying to predict and avoid the conflicts that were to come. As an adult, I had to learn boundaries and detachment in order to not take on emotional responsibility which was not mine.

We all have both of these sensitivities, there is no judgment here. You need some ego for self-definition and you need empathy to have compassion for others. If you have type 1 you need to learn and practice self-trust through awareness, boundaries to protect your energies and assertiveness skills to voice your authentic self. If you are type 2 you need to learn and practice self- responsibility, relaxation skills and empathy.

More about Lisa Hutchison– Lisa works for empaths who often feel drained after their helping efforts refill and recharge their energy through counseling, writing and angel card sessions. As a licensed mental health counselor with over 15 years of experience, she helps sensitive souls not only survive but shine!  Get 8 Simple Things that Release Chaos from Your Life Now! FREE as my gift to you. http://www.lisahutchson.net

Empath Toolkit: The 5 Gifts from Challenging People

Sensitive people want to avoid difficult people because of their negative energy.  I understand it feels uncomfortable and at times overwhelming when you absorb lower energies.  Although, shutting down and avoiding others is not the answer to living a passionate, creative life.  What if there were ways to interact, receive actual blessings and not take on other people’s stuff?  It can be done and here are some ways to recognize the hidden gifts offered to you.

 

8b65f75a357bd04df972636fbf383aea

 

  • Gift #1: They strengthen you.  The first order of business is changing the negative fearful language into one of strength and power.  Rather than calling others difficult people, view them as challenging.  Challenges are how you grow, learn and heal.  Yes, you will grow stronger from your encounters with challenging people.  Imagine how good you will feel when you walk away from an encounter maintaining your personal power?  If you haven’t experienced it, let me reassure you that it is one of the best feelings in the world!  Yes, you will not only will you survive to tell the tale, you will thrive.

 

  • Gift #2: They help you grow.  Challenging people are not that different from you.  I feel your resistance.  Before you click the X in the corner and leave the screen, take a few breaths and read on.  When you really think about it, you have to admit that we are all challenging to someone. Come on, you know you are.  Heck, I know I have been.  For the empath, challenging people usually lack compassion, consideration, and social skills.  This energy pushes your buttons when it touches upon an old wound that needs healing.  These encounters are opportunities that direct you to your old traumas, insecurities and weaknesses.  Even though it seems backwards, mentally, thank the challenging person and get to work on your inner healing.

 

  • Gift #3: They help you become a clear communicator.  Often challenging people communicate indirectly through manipulations or guilt because they lack social skills.  Unfortunately their methods have produced a result that positively reinforces them to keep doing what they are doing.  They may not know how to get their needs met in healthy ways.  Once you change your communication through assertiveness training and clear boundary setting it changes the communication as a whole.

 

  • Gift #4: They strengthen your connection to the Divine.  I don’t know about you, when I encounter challenging people I turn to prayer.  I have worn out the Serenity prayer many times over, working to grasp the concept that I cannot control other’s behaviors only my own.  Prior to encounters with challenging folks, I pray to God for wisdom, call upon the Angels for protection and strength and have used Reiki healing symbols.  When you are feeling helpless, remember you have the power when you are connected to Spirit.

 

  • Gift #5: They help you practice the art of detachment.  Challenging people have special ninja skills for blaming and deflecting.  Everything is everyone else’s fault.  As an empath, it is important to sharpen your skills and knowledge.  Remember that it is not your fault when others act unhappy or are abusive.  There is nothing you could have did or said that causes another person’s behavior ever.  A person’s actions reflect on who they are and behaviors do not lie.  Watch what a person does, not what a person says.  Meditation will help you learn detachment.  If a person says you are selfish.  Question, is that true? Or is this a reflection of their own inner self?  These questions are easily said within your own mind.  I do not recommend psychoanalyzing a challenging person, unless you are a professional.

 

I could write a book about challenging people and how to cope.  My first step is teaching local classes on the subject and offering phone and in person psycho-spiritual therapy sessions to help you cope, learn assertiveness skills, problem solve and protect your energies.  My intention for this blog was to shed a light on your future communications and to empower you.  Feel free to contact Lisa for more information or to schedule a session.  Lisa Hutchison has over 13 years of mental health experience.  She is a licensed therapist, certified angel card reader, Reiki master, published author and spiritual teacher who works to connect empathic helpers & artist to their spirit and that of the Divine.

If you liked this blog, sign up and receive, 10 Ways to Connect to Spirits FREE plus monthly tips, inspirational articles and more at www.lisahutchison.net

Digital StillCamera