How to Call Out Someone Empathically

Whether it is social media or in a group of people, there are certain ways you can ensure you are being compassionate, while pointing out someone’s behavior.

What is a Call Out?

According to Merriam Webster online Dictionary:

call out verb called outcalling outcalls out

Definition of call out (Entry 2 of 2) transitive verb

1: to summon into action call out troops

2to challenge to a duel

3: to order on strike call out the workers

4: to publicly criticize or fault (someone)

The Public Call Out

Keep in mind, no ones likes to be corrected in a public arena, whether it is social media or in person. Whether you are online or in person, you may feel your words aren’t harmful but you do not know how another perceives them. Your words are powerful and so is miscommunication. In the online word, we often miss out on nonverbal cues and vocal tones.

When someone gets called out in public, the other party may feel embarrassed for making a mistake. Rather than educating them, you have offended them, angered them or hurt them. This closes down a person’s energy and mind to learning. Socially calling out someone risks their belonging, social status and sometimes their professional reputation. Many people online are on alert for posts or certain words that may trigger others. Sometimes this is needed and sometimes it is not.

Before you call out a friend or even someone you don’t know consider:

  1. Your intention. Are you attempting to educate others or feel superior? There is a certain judgmental or critical energy to a call out. Is your intention fueled by a need to be right (ego) or is your intention from the heart? Tread carefully.
  2. What has triggered you exactly? Often it is not the post or what someone has said that is really the problem. The post can act like a stimulus to a past event you have had. Go back into your history and ask yourself; What does this remind me of? Why does this bother me so much? Heal the original wound.
  3. Is this really harmful? There is a difference between harmful and annoying. Harmful is something that is abusive or ethically wrong. It is usually clear to anyone who hears or sees the post or statement. Annoying can be something as simple as how a person says something.
  4. Who is around? On social media you really do not know who is around to see the post or your call out. Some people may admire you speaking up but others may be turned off by your approach. In an at person event, look around and notice who can hear you.
  5. Be ready for the consequences. A call out can lead you to become unfriended or blocked on social media. In real life, you may lose a friend or strain an important relationship. Is it worth it?

Here are some options

  1. Choose to not call out. People are not perfect. Social media can bring out our most emotional selves. If this is not a constant offender, let it go. If you are that upset, unfriend the person or walk away. I recently went for a walk, as I was passing a gentleman, I said,” Hello.” He said, “Good morning ma’am.” It was 1:00 pm. I chose to not correct him. What good would it have done? Except maybe cause him embarrassment. We exchanged friendly banter and I left. Sometimes it is best to take an interaction or post for the essence of it. You do not have to correct every discrepancy. Let some stuff go. Do you want to be right or be happy?
  2. Do a call out in private. Whether you are in person or on social media take your conversation elsewhere. Think about work environments. Would you prefer your boss correct you in front of everyone or one on one? On social media do not write a comment under the post, either text the person or private message them. You assume you know this person’s story but you may not. Let them express where they are at. Seek to understand and then give your take. Don’t expect anything. Allow him or her to have some space to process what you wrote. This is the beauty of doing this privately without the other person being ostracized by a group of people or pressured by social media time. The person may or may not agree with you but you have not harmed them. This is an empathic call out. If your goal is to elevate and educate others, use this method. Once the person has processed the information, he or she may chose to share what it learned or not.

What are your thoughts on empathically calling out others?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Bringing Balance to the Chaotic Energies- Full Moon in Libra

Empathic helpers often have difficulty balancing their own needs and others. With great sensitivity, comes a tendency to focus on making other people happy and ignoring our own needs. In order to experience the relationship success that is yours, the Libra full moon is the perfect time to heal and release people pleasing. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Libra full moon, which occurs April 16th.

Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

The Libra Full Moon

April has a lot of fast moving energies. We have 2 new moons this month with a solar eclipse on April 30th, I will talk about that in the next video. Libra full moon can bring us some balance amongst the chaos by letting go. For some people this month has been a whirlwind while others have felt unsettled, and ungrounded. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water. Seek out a healing session to balance your chakras.

You are about to start a new relationship or partnership or your existing relationship is changing. This can be an ending for some or elevate you to a new level of commitment. If a connection is ending, bless it and let it go. Trust the Universe is always bringing you to your highest and best, no matter what. Find the balance between your desires and those around you.

Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path.

Listen deep within.

Video Reading

How can you bring more balance into your life and relationships?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

How to Be Hopeful in Tough Times

Hope fuels a sense of purpose and energy. You know without a doubt, I can do this! With the human brain’s tendency to focus more on the negative, it can be challenging to find hope in tough times. If you have doubts or despair, the good news is you can build and develop an optimistic thinking style. Throughout this blog, I will reference research and material from a recent continuing education training I attended from Dr. Jaime Kurtz.

Why Choose Hope?

According to research, when you are realistically hopeful, you are more relaxed. (Kurtz, 2022).

  • Your brain wants to explore possibilities through play and creativity.
  • You find it easier to problem solve and grow.
  • You experience better health and a stronger immune system.
  • Hopeful people are more sociable, well liked, are better leaders and even make more money.
  • Hopeful people cope better with setbacks and have better marriages.

Why Being Hopeful isn’t Always Easy

Remember how I said, the brain has a tendency to focus more on the negative than the positive? It takes at least three positives to overcome one negative. For some of us, who are more sensitive, it may take even more. This emphasizes the importance of protecting your energies from lower vibrations, moods and thoughts, including yourself and others.

Our routines and habits often get in our way. When under stress, we tend to fall into habitual patterns of thinking and doing. There is a upside and downside to this. Habits can shield the brain from harm or too much input. The unfortunate part is we often turn to mindless behaviors, such as scrolling endlessly through social media, obsessively watching the news, thinking pessimistically, ruminating or worrying and even eating comfort foods. All of these activities keeps you stuck and at times feeling hopeless.

Let’s just admit it…life can be really, really hard. For this reason, we can lose hope easily. The realistic aspects of living life can bring your mood down. People have financial stress, health issues, relationship problems, etc. When you are a helper, in the role of healing others, you can absorb other’s negativities and lower energies.

How Can I Be More Hopeful?

A part of being hopeful is changing how you think. According to Dr. Jaime Kurtz, an optimistic thinking style has four elements.

  1. Temporary- Knowing whatever you are experiencing will pass.
  2. Local- Thoughts are focused only on your current situation and no other.
  3. Not Personal- You know this is not entirely my fault.
  4. Controllable- There IS something I can do about this.

Stress management or filling your cup is essential. This can be unique to each one of you. Find activities that nourish and replenish you. Some ideas are exercise, being in nature, listening to music, or practicing a hobby. If you haven’t seen my book, I Fill My Cup: A Journal For Compassionate Helpers, you may want to check it out. As Kurtz states, “Hopeful people engage in more preventative behaviors.”

Pennebaker (1997) discusses the power of story telling to increase hope. The instruction is to construct a clear narrative of what you want and how you might get it. You can write or tell your story to a trusted friend, coach or counselor.

Reframing your thoughts- Think of a previous hopeless or negative situation that has happened. Next name three things that help you see the bright side of life because you did not get what you wanted.

Spend more time with hopeful and positive people. As many of you absorb the lower energies from others, you can also absorb or take in the positive energies. Choose wisely.

Being hopeful may not be easy, but it is possible. YOU CAN DO IT!

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

REFERENCE: Pennebaker, J. W. (1997). Writing about emotional experiences as a therapeutic process.
Psychological Science, 8, 162-166.

Let’s Come Straight from the Heart- Full moon in Leo

Empathic helpers often have difficulty balancing their own needs and others. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to get caught up in other people’s energy. In our quest to put ourselves onto our ever growing list of priorities, sometimes we don’t express ourselves assertively and instead act prideful and from the ego. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Leo full moon, which occurs February 16th.

Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

The Leo Full Moon

Leo full moon is a time to let your pride go. A great question to ask during this full moon is; Am I coming from the heart or my ego?  Leos and all empathic folks have a big heart but we can overdo it during a full moon because the energy is increased.

Valentine’s Day is two days before this full moon. Make sure you give your partner the benefit of the doubt. Watch your pridefulness. It couldn’t hurt to let your partner be right.

Find balance between your needs and the needs of others. Am you expecting too much or maybe your giving too much? Remember everyone counts, everyone matters. For those who are overly helpful, this means you too. Consider yourself. If you are on the other side of the coin, consider others, have empathy put yourself in their shoes. This is a great time for creativity! Use the confidence of this full moon to shine.

Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. You can speak your truth and set limits with kindness.

Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path.

With the full moon, be prepared for some kind of letting go. You may need to move on, in order to make room for the new. What needs to go? It could be a relationship. Listen deep within. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water.

Let’s pick some cards to see what we need to focus on during this full moon Leo.  This reading resonate with you b-day in Leo or Aquarius or have a sun, moon or rising. All empaths, no matter what your astrological sign because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

Am I coming from my heart or my ego?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Your dreams need a practical plan: Full Moon Taurus/Solar Eclipse

Empathic helpers often have difficulty devoting time and energy to their plans. With great sensitivity, comes a tendency to get caught up in other people’s energy. It can be challenging to ground your energy and have a practical plan, which leaves your dreams out of reach. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Taurus full moon/solar eclipse, which occurs November 19th.

Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

The Taurus Full Moon/Solar Eclipse

The Taurus full moon asks you to combine the practical with the spiritual. Release what you no longer need, imagine what you want and create a down to earth plan to execute it. This isn’t about wishing but doing. Make a bullet point list of what you need to do, break down your big goal into smaller achievable steps. Think about what gets in the way of making your plan a reality. Are you spending too much of your time thinking about or stepping in to help others? Are you avoiding asking for help or support?

Connect with your five senses, the bull energy is sensual.  Mindfulness exercises are great for this. Practice mindful eating and walking. Be in the moment. Pay attention to your financial situation. Are you spending too much or not bringing in enough money? If so, create a plan to deal with this.  

Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path.

Full Moon Eclipse Energy

Eclipses come in pairs, this is video one of two. Both eclipses offer a powerful energy to move us forward. The full moon eclipse tells us conclusions are within reach. This is a full moon on steroids. Circumstances are out of your hands, as if a door slams shut. It is important to let go of trying to control other people or circumstances. Breathe and allow any and all events to unfold.  Believe and trust, this is the right time to let go. A relationship may end, it is for the best. Forgive and be prepared to move forward. Work with your shadow self to release stubborness, guilt, resentment, shame, etc. 

With the full moon and eclipse, let go, surrender and release. What needs to go? Let go of negative feelings. Listen deep within. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water.

We are right on the cusp of Scorpio, Sagittarius. Scorpio, Sagittarius and Taurus people and other empathic souls, this reading may resonate with you if you have a birthday in these signs, moon or rising sign. I always say, all empaths, no matter what your astrological sign, can be affected because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

What is your plan to make your dreams a reality?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

What You Need to Know About the Silent Treatment

The silent treatment also known as ghosting, stonewalling or even ostracism can be an emotionally painful experience. It has been used since the beginning of time. If a person did not act how society wanted, this person would be sent off to live in isolation and die. Yes, it was and still is this cruel. Exclusion creates mental health distress and symptoms, which can linger for years.

People use the silent treatment when they are angry with someone. It is a passive aggressive way to control the situation. Those with narcissistic personality disorder use the silent treatment to have power over others in relationships.

The silent treatment is a manipulation tactic to blame the other person and create a feeling that he or she is 100% at fault. This person often wants an apology from you, yet he or she does not clearly communicate this. Instead of taking responsibility for their own feelings and initiating a talk, people who act like this withdraw and withhold all communication. The silent treatment is an act of emotional abuse, in which one person feels superior and in control, while the other feels guilty and confused.

When you are the giver of silence

Those who give the silent treatment, often have received the silent treatment. It is not unusual, if you have learned this technique from your family. Dysfunctional patterns of communication can repeat over multiple generations, until you decide to stop the behavior and heal. If you are the person giving the silent treatment, it is important for you to learn how to communicate better and seek a resolution. Be aware that the person you have hurt may not want to continue a relationship with you because of this behavior.

It is important to heal from a silent treatment because you do not want to continue this or attract this type of energy into your life again. Psychotherapy is one way of uncovering, these patterns. If you do not want to have a relationship with someone, communicate this honestly and then walk away. The only time this would not be wise is in cases of extreme abuse. In this instance, just leave. You do not need to communicate or explain.

I got overwhelmed

I understand people feel overwhelmed but it cannot be used as an excuse to hurt others. Sometimes I hear, “I got overwhelmed this is why I cut someone off.” Since overwhelm is a temporary state; did you express your overwhelm in the moment or shortly after that? Did you ask for a break to connect with your feelings and tell the person when you would contact them again? When the overwhelm lessened; did you re-engage and apologize?

Silence that lasts for weeks, months and even years, has gone beyond a case of overwhelm. If this is you, I suggest talking to a professional who can help you look deeper into yourself.

A cut off harms both parties

A cut off harms not only the person being given the silent treatment but also the abuser. As humans, we are social beings and have been hard wired to connect with others, when we are not connecting as biology intends, it causes damage within. This affects all of your relationships, the ones you are talking with and those you are not. 

Whether you have been given the silent treatment or you are the giver, know this is an unhealthy way to communicate and creates toxic relationships. I know how painful the silent treatment can be because I have had various family members do it to me. I also know how happy you can be once you process the experience and let it go for good. You do not need to make someone talk to you to heal yourself and move forward in life.

What can you do when someone gives you the cold shoulder?

  1. You can attempt one more round of communication.
  2. Recognize it is not your fault and you do not deserve this treatment from anyone.
  3. Remember this is about them; their lack of communication skills and their emotional immaturity.
  4. Don’t chase them or try to make them talk to you.
  5. Move on.
  6. Find healthy relationships.

You may also like to read: How to Recognize Emotional Abuse & Rise Above It

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Be Responsible and Live your Dream-Pisces Full Moon

Empathic helpers often have difficulty bringing their dreams into reality. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to get caught up in other people’s energy. It takes a lot of courage for these people to set boundaries and focus on themselves. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Pisces full moon, which occurs September 20th.

Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

The Pisces Full Moon

Pisces full moon asks you to follow your gut instinct and trust the answers you seek, will come. All of your answers come from within.

It is time to get in touch with your feelings, you may find your psychic abilities are heightened and fated relationships come into your life. Release all your fears and insecurities at this time and focus on being in this moment. Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. Practice grounding to bring the spiritual energy in balance with the practical. You can find a balance between being responsible and living the life of your dreams. 

Write down your dreams. If you could do or be anything, what would be on your list? Find one item on your list and do something about it. Whether you practice that item or set some three month goals towards you, you are now balancing the practical with the spiritual.

With the full moon, be prepared for letting go. You may need to move on, in order to make room for the new. What needs to go? It could be a relationship. Listen deep within. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water.

We are right on the cusp of Virgo and Libra. Virgo/Libra and Pisces people and other empathic souls, this reading may resonate with you if you have a birthday in these signs, moon or rising sign. I always say, all empaths, no matter what your astrological sign, can be affected because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

How can you be responsible yet live out your dreams?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Why You Absolutely Deserve More Alone Time

We have been through a lot this past year, personally and collectively. None of us have had the opportunity to fully process and integrate what has happened. This is because it is difficult to process trauma when you are living in it or in the middle of it. Now is the time, if you haven’t already, to reach out for support, talk to others and strengthen those coping skills. As we move towards “normalcy”, I professionally believe, the compassionate amongst ourselves are going to need more alone time. We want to understand and comprehend all we have lived through.

As a compassionate helper, you may require sudden alone time, in which you feel drained in a social situation. It is also important to have planned downtime. No matter what kind of solitude you crave, it is normal and okay. The irony is empaths or those who are highly sensitive, are often shunned and invalidated for being different, yet you are the ones sought out for your wisdom. You can only access this inner knowing by having time apart from society at large.

Take as much time as you need and remind yourself of these various reasons.

You need a boundary between your inner world and the outer world.

As a sensitive person, you naturally absorb or take in too much input from the people and places around you. By breaking away from the world, you can re-connect within and listen to the wisdom of your soul.

To recharge and rejuvenate your energy.

You need to unplug, recharge and rejuvenate. Find the activities you enjoy doing. This could be reading, writing, spending time in nature or meditating. Whatever helps you refill your cup, go and do that.

To get personal physical space.

Many empathic people are not looking forward to the end of social distancing. The six feet between people gave us more distance between our energy and others. Now, the limits are relaxed, it is important to take time away and give your body a rest, as you re-acclimate into society. Do not be surprised if you are experiencing more anxiety and fatigue. You are feeling a lot more energy from others, than you have in a long time.

Even though you have a deep connection to certain people, it is important to maintain a deep connection within.

Living with and working with others can be challenging for empaths. For many, our families have been home with us all day. The boundaries between work and rest are blurred.  It is difficult to maintain perfect boundaries, all day long. The increased hours of talking on the phone and holding video chats also stress your energy. There are times you need to get away, take a vacation or even schedule a retreat to connect within.

Now you know why it is important to have time apart from others, you need to work on releasing the guilt. Remember you require time away to take care of you. The more time you devote to yourself, the better able you are to take care of others.

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

5 Powerful Actions to Love the Hard to Love

Right now, you can name at least one person who is hard to love. He or she could be someone who is self- absorbed, emotionally unstable or living with an addiction. Think of how you treat these types of people. Do you ignore, be little or think less of them? Are you harboring anger, resentment and guilt towards them?

When you consider this hard to love person, do you think of yourself? Often the most difficult person to love is the one staring back at us in the mirror. Empathic helpers freely offer love, compassion and kindness to others, even strangers. When it comes to giving to ourselves, we can become stingy.

If you are ready to take action. Read on.

Pray for these people and ourselves. Those who are on the spiritual path believe everyone is in our life for a reason. What do you imagine this person’s behavior is here to teach you? Imagine handing them over to a higher power or the light. Pray for their health and wellness. Pray for your own strength and patience. Remember you are not alone.

Offer them a personal healing intention. You can create a simple sentence or even a one word mantra to repeat internally. When you think of them, repeat to yourself the following words, “love” or “peace.” One of my favorite personal intentions is the Buddhist Loving Kindness Prayer. If you enjoy meditation, you may want to check out my mp3 meditation; Spreading Kindness.

May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.

May you be filled with loving kindness.
May you be well.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
May you be happy.

ancient – tibetan buddhist – meditation

Forgive yourself and others. Forgive yourself for not knowing, being judgmental, for all the times you were stuck in your own pain, fear and bitterness. Forgive yourself for not seeing the truth or reality of a situation. Forgive others for their abusive behaviors, all of the times you felt disappointed and hurt.

Repeat the forgiveness process as neededForgiveness is like doing the laundry or washing the dishes, it is rarely completed after one time.

Stop spreading negativity through gossip or tarnishing their name or reputation. I get it, you are hurt. Spreading more hurt, keeps you stuck, victimized and in pain.

Increase you awareness and catch yourself when you think negative thoughts. Before you speak or act on these, just notice the thoughts. Next re-direct your thoughts and actions to something positive for yourself. If you are having difficulty shifting gears, cognitive and cognitive behavioral therapy, can help you with this.

Have empathy- Put yourself in other people’s shoes. You may not agree with their actions but you can come to a new understanding. Maybe this person is insecure, stressed or lonely? Remember there at times in life, you have been hard to love as well.

We can have a kind world, it all depends on how we treat ourselves and others. Choose love, kindness and compassion. It won’t always be easy, but it is worth it.

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

5 Unacknowledged but Useful Truths to Know about Self-Care

Self-care sounds cozy and pretty but often is not. It is made up of those routine moments you need to dig in deep and motivate yourself, when you would rather be doing anything but self-care. Sometimes, it would be a heck of a lot easier to mindlessly zone out on social media, watch marathon hours of TV, or eat a half gallon of ice cream out of the tub. If you find yourself here, no judgment. We all do what’s easiest when we experience extreme stress. If you are ready to incorporate self-care into your routine, here is what you need to know.

Self-care is not easy to do- Doing what is good for you emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually, often does not come easy. Setting boundaries, eating healthier, and managing your finances are not always fun or relaxing. These types of activities often don’t feel good initially but have long-term benefits.

Self-care takes practice and persistence. When you fall off the horse, dust yourself off and get up again. Self-compassion will become your best friend in moments like these. There is no shame in reaching out for counseling support to keep you on track.

In order to be successful with self-care, you need to become aware of the blocks and obstacles within yourself and in your external world. Once you are aware, acknowledge these and put your self-care plan into action. Self-care means taking responsibility for your thoughts, feelings and actions. It is about embracing your vulnerability and being kind to yourself. If I sound like a broken record, this is not always easy.

You may lose some relationships- People who do not take care of themselves cannot support you in your self-care efforts. You may not notice this kind of relationship discrepancy until you set a self-care boundary. Do not allow other’s guilt or manipulation get in the way of your health and wellness.

Self-care is not selfish, it is self- FULL– It may feel unnatural to put yourself first or even include yourself on your list of priorities, when you are a caregiver or empathic helper. The more you take care of you, the more you can take care of others. We all need times of silence to process and integrate. Time away from others means more quality time together. Remember self-care is for everyone, whether you are a man or woman. We all need a little TLC.

Self-care does not require a lot of time– The more you devote time to self-care, it increases your productivity. When you feel better, you become more engaged and mindful with all you do. Take five to ten minutes each day in the morning or right before bed to engage in a relaxing activity, such as deep breathing, writing in a journal or mindfulness techniques.

The person who says, I don’t have time to do self-care, needs it the most. Do not wait until your body or mind breaks down before you start making your health a priority. Sometimes people say they don’t have the time, when they really don’t want to become quiet and sit with their feelings. Your emotional pain will not heal until it is acknowledged, felt and released. If you don’t make time now, when will you?

Self-care does not make your problems disappear- Self-care does not magically erase your problems or pain but it will help you cope better. It helps your body release stress and tension, which left unchecked can make you feel much worse. When the crisis has resolved, you will be able to bounce back quicker.

Activities involving self-care fill your cup. Self-care can help you gain a clearer perspective and detach from other people’s energies. This way you can focus more on what needs to be done in your life. Self-care can help you feel supported by yourself and others, which helps you feel less alone.

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC