5 Powerful Actions to Love the Hard to Love

Right now, you can name at least one person who is hard to love. He or she could be someone who is self- absorbed, emotionally unstable or living with an addiction. Think of how you treat these types of people. Do you ignore, be little or think less of them? Are you harboring anger, resentment and guilt towards them?

When you consider this hard to love person, do you think of yourself? Often the most difficult person to love is the one staring back at us in the mirror. Empathic helpers freely offer love, compassion and kindness to others, even strangers. When it comes to giving to ourselves, we can become stingy.

If you are ready to take action. Read on.

Pray for these people and ourselves. Those who are on the spiritual path believe everyone is in our life for a reason. What do you imagine this person’s behavior is here to teach you? Imagine handing them over to a higher power or the light. Pray for their health and wellness. Pray for your own strength and patience. Remember you are not alone.

Offer them a personal healing intention. You can create a simple sentence or even a one word mantra to repeat internally. When you think of them, repeat to yourself the following words, “love” or “peace.” One of my favorite personal intentions is the Buddhist Loving Kindness Prayer. If you enjoy meditation, you may want to check out my mp3 meditation; Spreading Kindness.

May I be filled with loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.

May you be filled with loving kindness.
May you be well.
May you be peaceful and at ease.
May you be happy.

ancient – tibetan buddhist – meditation

Forgive yourself and others. Forgive yourself for not knowing, being judgmental, for all the times you were stuck in your own pain, fear and bitterness. Forgive yourself for not seeing the truth or reality of a situation. Forgive others for their abusive behaviors, all of the times you felt disappointed and hurt.

Repeat the forgiveness process as neededForgiveness is like doing the laundry or washing the dishes, it is rarely completed after one time.

Stop spreading negativity through gossip or tarnishing their name or reputation. I get it, you are hurt. Spreading more hurt, keeps you stuck, victimized and in pain.

Increase you awareness and catch yourself when you think negative thoughts. Before you speak or act on these, just notice the thoughts. Next re-direct your thoughts and actions to something positive for yourself. If you are having difficulty shifting gears, cognitive and cognitive behavioral therapy, can help you with this.

Have empathy- Put yourself in other people’s shoes. You may not agree with their actions but you can come to a new understanding. Maybe this person is insecure, stressed or lonely? Remember there at times in life, you have been hard to love as well.

We can have a kind world, it all depends on how we treat ourselves and others. Choose love, kindness and compassion. It won’t always be easy, but it is worth it.

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

19 thoughts on “5 Powerful Actions to Love the Hard to Love

  1. Thank you for this Lisa….. Often we forget what others are showing us can often be a reflection of ourselves.. I am often catching myself these days with negative thoughts and my Mantra is while all seems to be chaotic in certain places.. ” All is well in my world!”…… and I soon regain my inner balance..
    Many thanks for sharing your words, your wisdom, your love and your light my friend…. I try sending to those hard to love people in the world.. Who perhaps as children were never truly loved themselves…
    Much love your way Lisa.. and thank you again. ❤

    Liked by 2 people

  2. You are welcome Sue.

    This blog serves as a reminder for myself too. I may not have the exact phrasing of the saying. The gist of it is… rather than curse the darkness, light a candle.

    All is well in my world.-I like it!

    Many Blessings to you and your family dear Sue.
    Lisa xoxo


  3. Ah, Lisa — love your wise words. What stands out for me in this post is: when it comes to giving to ourselves, we can become stingy. Oh, my goodness, how true. The Buddhist Loving Kindness Prayer and forgiving oneself are perfect ideas for anyone to focus on this week — it’s time to make being more supportive and gentle with ourselves a daily habit! Thank you for sharing this.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Lisa,
    Your words are powerful and your actions steps are tangible and so needed in our world. Thank you for spreading love and helping others to do the same.
    Here’s to healing the world with love.
    Write on!~

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Such good timing, m’dear. I have been torturing myself about some issues in an organization I belong to — even considering the option of walking away. I don’t know if I’ve got quite enough lovingkindness on tap, but your reminders will get me through the next few encounters. And that’s all I can ask for about now.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Great post and advice, Lisa. If everyone chose to be kind and act compassionately, and to let love lead the way instead of hate, we would live in a fairytale kind of world, wouldn’t we? If only…

    Thanks for sharing the Love and Kindness,
    Lauren ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Hi Lisa, Admittedly, I read quickly, but since you had visited my blog and followed it, I wanted to come and see what your blog is about and what you write. I especially appreciated the Buddhist Loving Kindness Prayer, Intention. I forget the source of the quote, but I think you were very close, the way I remember it is, “It is better to light one candle than to curse the darkness.” I think it goes back to Augustine, but I could be wrong about that. Looking forward to reading more here. Thanks and blessings, Michele

    Liked by 2 people

  8. I can always count on you for my dose of kindness. ❤️ Gossip is the worst. Such a destructive element. Blessing galore to you, MW

    Liked by 1 person

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