How to not leave anything unsaid with loved ones

Death will touch all of our lives at some point, as it is a part of life. For myself, I learned about death when I was five years old and my Daddy died suddenly. I did not understand death, all I knew was he was here one moment and gone the next. My brother-in-law died when I was fifteen years of age, after three months of becoming ill. I learned early, why it is important to live life to the fullest and express my love to others. By the time, my Mom had her second severe stroke, we didn’t leave anything on the table. She died when I was thirty seven. I miss her but I don’t have any regrets. The same can be said with a couple of close friends of mine who have passed on to the other side.

These losses shaped how I view and live my life.  For example, I am an avid photographer because I enjoy capturing moments to savor later. During this time, I find myself cherishing these visual memories until we can all be together again safely. The most difficult part of social distancing is not hugging or being physically close to those you love. In this in-between time, we need to communicate our deepest feelings.

How to Boost Your Energy Vibration while Social Distancing (1)

Express your love verbally at every chance. Whether you have phone or video chats, tell your loved ones, “I love you.” Be vulnerable and open your heart.

“Be” with one another as much as you can- Talk about other topics besides the virus, politics and the supermarket. Although, these can be good ice breakers, dive deeper and be in the present moment with one another.

What do you personally need to say to your loved one? This answer may be different for each one of you. You may have said these things before but I urge you to say them again and again. If you are more comfortable with the written word, write your friend or loved one a letter or type an email.

Some wording to dive deeper can be:

  1. I love you- Express the warmth in your heart.
  2. Forgive me- Release regrets and move on.
  3. Thank you for__________________________. Express gratitude for who they are or what they have done.
  4. Remember when_______________________. Connect with fun memories.
  5. I admire you for_____________________. Be specific and tell them how proud you are of them.
  6. You have helped me with ___________________. Tell them how they have changed your life for the better.

Life is all about loving and letting go. At first, you may feel awkward having these types of conversations. Keep practicing, it will get easier and you will notice a change in yourself and all of your relationships. Give with all of your heart and you will never regret it.

Stay safe and I am thinking of you all.

Blessings, Lisa

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach who helps sensitive souls not just survive but shine. She is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; 8 Simple Things That Release Chaos from Your Life Now at http://www.lisahutchison.net

23 thoughts on “How to not leave anything unsaid with loved ones

  1. I had this lesson when my Mother died. Or rather when she was dying. Throughout my lifetime, my Mom and I were estranged or you could say our relationship was strained. There was a lot of anger towards her that I put to rest when I knew she was dying. It was so uncomfortable at first but over time the most beautiful love bloomed between us. I am forever blessed because I told my Mom I love her and that I forgive her for the past. Lisa, it was one of the most empowering times of my life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Wow, thanks for sharing this powerful experience between yourself and your Mom. Similar to yourself, my Mom and I weren’t close until the last 10 years of her life. We worked at a relationship together. By the end of her life, she was my best friend. I am grateful for those times, as I am sure you are grateful for the memories with your Mom, before her passing. Sending you much love, Amy! xoxo

      Liked by 1 person

      • Awwwww, I’ve got tears in my eyes. My time with my real Mom was only 1.5 years so to know you had 10 years brings such a rush of joy to my heart! OMG! I know what I felt like knowing I finally did have a Mom. Now imagining you having the same experience brings such a huge smile to my face. At times I actually feel her presence and she calms me at times when my heart is pounding. Sending much love to you as well, Lisa!! xoxoxo

        Liked by 1 person

        • Thanks Amy. xoxo I hope more people get to heal and have the connections they desire with family members. I have spirit communications with my Mom, although our connection is different now, I am grateful for it. It is a blessing your Mom is a source of comfort to you today. Take Care!

          Liked by 1 person

  2. I so agree, its important not to leave things unsaid…. that goes for all of us at any time.. But this lockdown now brings it closer to home especially as we are separated from our loved ones…

    Another well scripted post Lisa.. with lots of great advice and wisdom as we have walked through these emotions ourselves.. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Great advice, Lisa, and I’m grateful to say that my family has no trouble communicating. In fact, sometimes we’re all talking at once, so we need to step back and be good listeners until it’s our turn. 🙂 But for some, deep issues and true feelings seem to be on lock-down just like the world is. And it’s more difficult to pull them to the surface and share. But it’s so important like you said, and the fact that you included prompts is beneficial too. Wonderful post. Wishing you a beautiful day. Lauren 🌷

    Liked by 1 person

  4. What a great time to share this message Lisa. 6 valuable parts of life. Ones that make such a direct impact. I’m so thankful that I had a Mother who expressed and expresses love all the time. Having someone like that is extremely powerful. I am thankful to be able to pass that on to others.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I’m appreciating your specific suggestions for “Some wording to dive deeper can be:____.”
    We seem to be of like-mind as my blog post invites others to write the story of their mothers–especially before they transition.
    I know you agree that…
    Words matter.
    Words heal.
    Words are legacy.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I love this article Lisa. I will use your words to dive deeper with my mom & father in-law this weekend on Mothers Day. Since my mother in-law died, we have been super aware of saying all the wonderful things we ever hope to say to our family. Happy Mothers Day!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Debra. I am happy this blog can be a guide to dive deeper with your loved ones. A gift death can bring us is to pay attention a bit more. Enjoy your Mother’s day and time with family. Blessings, Lisa

      Like

  7. So important to remember not leaving anything unsaid. We had a scare yesterday, when my mother was rushed to hospital, suspecting a heart attack. I had talked with her on the phone earlier that day, and when I got the news that she was in hospital, I did cross my mind if that was our last conversation.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am sorry to hear about your Mom, Christin. That is a scary feeling. I know how life can change in an instant like that. I hope your Mom is well soon and you are able to connect. Sending you and your Mom much love and light. Blessings, Lisa xoxo

      Like

  8. Great post! Many people have lost their loved ones, I think they’ll be dealing easier with their loss.
    I am missing my mom a lot. It’s been a bit more than a year, but I talk with her in my thoughts.
    I think there is always something left unsaid. Reasons can be very different, but it just happens so that someone’s passing is always too early, always difficult.
    Amazing, you’ve written a book about such an essential aspect of our life.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks Inese. Sorry to hear about your Mom’s loss. I often communicate with my deceased Mom and find comfort doing so. Sometimes a person’s death is unexpected and there may be words left unsaid. Thanks for stopping by to comment. Blessings, Lisa

      Like

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