Holding the space is a healthy way of interacting with others who are hurting, without getting depleted energy wise. It is a type of boundary for sensitive healers that benefits both parties because you are not getting entangled or engulfed in another’s emotions. Trust is built through the consistent action of keeping limits on the energy being exchanged and not on the words that are spoken.
How does it work?
Holding the space is about mindfulness. When you are in your body, in the present moment you become a witness to what is happening. Sounds simple, it takes practice to be in this frame of mind and a lot of people cannot offer this because they don’t remember how to slow their energy down. Being hectic, anxious and on the go with your thoughts and actions has become a habit for many people today.
It means letting go of the ego who thinks she knows best and allowing the feeling process to unfold without trying to fix it or make it better. Feelings don’t always make sense, drop any judgments as to what is the right or wrong way a person can express themselves. Remember these 3 words; Listen, allow and be present.
Choose carefully who you allow in your energy field to help you heal. Trust your instincts and get recommendations from others that you trust. I have been blessed with friends who also happen to be therapists, like myself, (no surprise) who hold the space for me. I hold the space for them and for all of my clients. We have learned that there is a time and place for professional suggestions but also a time to be silent and in the moment. By saying minimal at emotional times of releasing, it lets the person know you are with them and that she can share the pain that is in her heart. This is empathy in action! If you feel compelled to say something, validate what she is saying by rephrasing important points and ask her to tell you more about an important part of the story.
When a person receives the space, you feel seen, honored and acknowledged for who you are, not who someone wants you to be. In the heart space, you are comfortable in your skin and who you are. This helps you maintain your energy while you are healing and helping others.
It has to be all about YOU!
Whenever I say it is all about you, empaths cringe. The last thing an empath wants is to be considered selfish or self-absorbed, like that could ever happen. Focusing on you is about being healthy. In order to give space to others, you have to work on yourself. This means getting your own healing and therapy in order to take care of yourself and your energy first. Therapy helps you uncover patterns and learn about your gifts and how they work, in addition to setting boundaries and being assertive.
Claim your space
As a sensitive person, are you taking up enough space? Often empaths close off their physical space in an effort to protect from other’s energy invading your thoughts and feelings. You may find yourself sitting with crossed arms or hunched over. This type of protection works temporarily to a point, unfortunately, over time you close yourself off from receiving the good stuff, meaning love. I recently read Presence: Bringing Your Boldest Self to Your Biggest Challenges By Amy Cuddy: a great resource to show you how to take up more space through power poses with lots of interesting research and case studies(if you are into that kind of stuff like I am). For those that are interested, you can buy your copy by clicking the title link for the book.
Lisa Hutchison LMHC also known as the therapist’s therapist, actually works with all sensitive and compassionate healers/helpers. Whether it is an angel card reading or counseling session, Lisa holds the space and gives you useful information that helps you protect your energy in your life’s work and personal life. To learn more and GET 8 Simple ways to Release Chaos visit http://www.lisahutchison.net