We have all been fooled at one time or another by manipulative behaviors. Sometimes it is so subtle, you can’t see it coming until it is too late. When you feel its influence in your life, know you are not failing at your inner work. Remember when another tries to control you in order to suit their needs, it is a reflection of their lower energy and not your own.
Manipulative behavior is found in chaotic situations and is often used to divert attention away from the real issue. There will be times when you feel frustrated because you see what is going on yet no one else gets it. Just because no one else sees it, does not mean it isn’t happening. Trust your instincts.
Do you know the signs of manipulative behaviors?
Power– Where there is power, look for manipulations. You are being influenced every single day. No, not me, you say! How many times have you bought a product that you saw online or on TV that was hyped and it frankly sucked? News and advertisements are two outlets that work to manipulate your emotions. The most popular emotion is fear; how many products are on the market because of our fear of aging or death?
That is too good to be true! The song, Little lies from Fleetwood Mack plays in my head as I write this,”Tell me lies Tell me sweet little lies.” When you are feeling vulnerable, you are more susceptible to this. It is understandable that when you are in pain that you want to hear the good. Sometimes in this state, you ignore your better judgment knowing in the end, whatever is promised is not going to be delivered upon. Watch for this one in the upcoming months as there will be an increase with these lies during the political season.
Guilt trips– Woe is me! When someone acts like a victim, it is a manipulative invitation to help or rescue them. Do not do for others what they can do for themselves. Read more about that here. How to Best Serve Your Client’s Internal Growth. Other guilt trips can be uncomfortable sojourns in which the person goes radio silent and there is no communication at all. Some will threaten themselves with harm or others, in these instances contact the police and your local mental health crisis center.
Oh, you sweet talker! This person tries to make a connection with you before it has authentically developed. For example; calling you a friend upon first meeting you, telling you what they think you want to hear; you are so smart, so beautiful etc. The best one I have heard recently was, I am not trying to sell to you and 10 minutes later she was trying to sell me something! To answer your question, no, I did not buy from her.
4 Ways to Protect Your Energy from Getting Depleted:
- Remember and have awareness of a person’s history and their behavioral tactics.
- Trust your instincts. If you only focus on what a person says, you will be an easy target for manipulation. It is through your intuition that you will know these lies. When something feels off, trust in that, no matter who that person is.
- Decide whether you will speak up or detach.
- Consult a professional counselor. As an intuitive psychotherapist, I can feel in my body when a client tells me her story and someone else is attempting to manipulate her. There are many times, especially in instances of family and romantic relationships, in which you are too close to see what is going on, yet you know it doesn’t feel good. I can assist you with what to say, how to respond and how to protect your energies in these types of instances.
Lisa Hutchison LMHC, intuitive psychotherapist, works for empaths who want to recharge their depleted energy in order to serve with their unique gifts of sensitivity. Want 8 Simple Things that Release Chaos from your Life NOW! Get it here FREE http://www.lisahutchison.net
Great post, Lisa. “Where there is power, look for manipulations.” There is always power! Funny thing is, we don’t always see it, but that is the air manipulators breathe. This is such an important post.
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Thank you Reba and yes power is everywhere!
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I always get a sinking feeling in my stomach when someone is trying to manipulate me, I also learned to never make impulse purchases, even if I think I will miss a good deal, I always take time to sleep on it first. And I have been a manipulator in my relationship with my husband, now I communicate with him more directly and honestly. Wonderful post Lisa.
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I also feel internal warning bells around manipulations. Great tip Rachel to sleep on it before purchasing. Another aspect is how we can be manipulative ourselves in close relationships. Thank you for your comments.
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Great post Lisa! It is a nice to see that the subtle nuances that a manipulator can utilize and so much more;
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Thank you Natasha, My intention was to shed a light on this subject because it touches all of our lives.
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I love your post Lisa! It reminds me of the time when I was young. In the culture I grew up in power and guilt trips are a norm. For a while I was also part of that game until I began paying more attention to how bad I felt while playing it. Now I can recognize it when it’s coming and have time to make a choice on how I want to react.
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We have had similar experiences growing up Claudia. I understand all of what you are saying. Thanks for sharing!
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I think the older I get, the easier it is to spot a manipulator and to let them know I’m not falling for it.
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Good for you, Barb!
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This is a fabulous post, Lisa 🙂 When we’re looking for hope, for answers, for encouragement, for solutions, it’s so easy to be swayed by words, and oftentimes warning bells are going off all over the place – body symptoms and reactions, gut feelings, seeing another’s body language that doesn’t match the words coming out of their mouth, a feeling of heaviness or dread. It’s taken me a long, long time to look past the surface words and go with what my gut tells me.
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Thanks Kathleen, I have found it is a process of understanding and awareness too.
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Lisa, it’s amazing that you can feel in your body when your clients are being manipulated by others. What a great gift you have! Thank you for sharing it 🙂
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You are welcome Lea. Thank you because sometimes I forget that my empathy is a gift and not everyone can feel what I feel.
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Lisa, so insightful. Thanks. One thing that helps me (especially when the liar/manipulator is someone I really care about like my daughter) is to remember that I am only in charge of what’s in my hula hoop. Not what’s outside of it. Which is freeing. Painful often, but freeing. My job is to stand sovereign inside that narrow circle, and protect myself, and be as loving and generous as I can be. And to model the behavior I’d like to see. (Be the change, as they way.) I’m sharing this now.
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You are welcome Sue and thank you. It is very difficult when your family member has manipulative behaviors. I love how you have developed boundaries and skills to protect your energy. xx
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Another kind of manipulation comes in the form of FOMO: fear of missing out. I see it played out in online marketing as the hype of what you will miss out on if you don’t do X now or sign-up to come this great happening. It always feels yucky.
Thanks for such an insightful post, Lisa!
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You are welcome. Yes, thank you for that reminder Laurie about FOMO and it does feel yucky when used in marketing ploys, keep trusting that intuition!
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There was a time that most of my clients saw me as a result of addiction or violence. Your post is spot on. I’m going to find a way to share it with some of the advocates still in my life. Thanks!
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I also have worked with addictions and substance abuse issues throughout the years in my practice. What I have taught them comes out in my writings, I believe that is what you see and can relate to with your work. You are welcome Andrea and I love to hear that you are sharing this, thank you!
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This really needs to be shared with women in the corporate world. Power and manipulation are everywhere. I adhere to the Power and Influence model and after 20 some odd years in corporate, this works best for me.
Over the years I’ve gotten better at becoming aware of when manipulation tactics are in play. As you so rightly state, I have a choice to speak up or detach. I ask myself, “is this the sword I’m willing to die on?” If the answer is yes, I speak up. If it’s no, I walk away.
Great post Lisa!
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You are welcome. Thank you Peggy for sharing and for your comments. There is a lot of power and therefore manipulation in the corporate world.
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Love how beautiful and insightful you are dear one!
I have become better and better at spotting the manipulators. I keep them at bay 🙂
xoxo, Z~
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Thank you Zeenat and I love to hear that you are protecting your precious energies!
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Great post and really informative… I will be trying a few of these techniques next time! I find my family are the worse for guilt tripping me into stuff
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Thank you Ellie and good luck with your future interactions!
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At my age, it is so much easier to spot the phony ones..and my gut has almost always pointed me in the right direction. Great info.
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Thank you Renee and keep trusting your gut, it has never steered me wrong!
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I’m still in love with someone who is manipulative and have no idea how to properly get over it. Guilt trips a dozen whenever he would do something hurtful to make me feel bad for him. Any help in getting over that and moving on is always appreciated.
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You are welcome. It is difficult to see what a loved one’ s behavior is when you are involved in a relationship. I offer free 30 minute consults to discuss what services I offer, if you are interested in receiving more help. Many Blessings to you!
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I’d definitely be willing to do a 30 minute consultation.
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Contact me at my email lisadhutch@verizon.net with your name, timezone, and preferred times. I will send you what openings I have to schedule for the consultation. Looking forward to hearing from you.- Lisa
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Fabulous post Lisa! I think one of the most important things to do is to follow our intuition, like you advise here, but sometimes is hard to listen to our inner guidance when we are so involved the whole situation. Loved your tips! Great advise! 🙂
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Thank you Patricia! It is always good to have someone outside of the situation weigh in because sometimes we can’t see what is going on or feel too overwhelmed to know how to act upon it.
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[…] How to Recognize Manipulation & Protect Your Energy […]
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Shalom ! I’m on the road for many years. Tried all kinds of therapy methods, read a lot, published a book “The Authentic Edge” a career coaching book.
First time I come across such an accurate description of myself and my journy.
Thank you
Amir Dror, Israel
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Congrats on your publication Amir. I am happy to hear my words connected with your experience. It is my pleasure and thanks for stopping by to comment.
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[…] How to Recognize Manipulation & Protect Your Energy […]
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