I have a confession; I used to hate chaos with a passion. I am not a huge fan of it still. However, I am learning to see some positives of it. As an empath, chaotic energies stress my system out and overwhelm me. I wanted to make friends with my enemy, knowing that the more I resisted this force of nature, the more it would persist and bother me in my life.
Growing up, I lived in a chaotic abusive environment which kept everyone distracted from the real issues and stuck. Being one of the few in the family who had awareness of this fact, I wanted to “fix it” yet I was met with great opposition. I wanted more organization to feel in control. Some of these skills helped me in my work as a therapist, while other skills drained me because I felt too responsible to change other people’s lives. Through my many years of practice, I learned how to set boundaries and not take on other’s responsibilities, which helped me and I am sure others enormously. I began to see a need to go beyond merely controlling symptoms and into the deeper patterns that exist. This is a part of what led me to my current work combining mental health, creativity and spirituality.
What’s so good about chaos?
As I was sitting in a garden at a library, I pondered chaos and what could be good about it. In front of me was this fountain. I noticed the water in the pond was mostly undisturbed. Right where the fountain’s cascading water fell things were getting stirred up. The bubbling action caused the water to spill, ripple and bubble forth in random patterns. Not only did it sound relaxing, it looked beautiful. The fountain was creating change and making the water dynamic. Yes! That is how I want to view my life. I want to freely bubble forth learning to relax within the movements. I want to observe chaos without getting all caught up in it.
A part of getting more comfortable with chaos is learning how to accept and embrace change. That is what life is all about growing beyond your current comfort zone. Perhaps some of us need a chaotic push to move forward? This multi-dimensional energy helps people get out of black and white thinking to live in the wondrous vibrancy of now.
As creatives in life, it is the chaos that often inspires your writing, painting and art. As an artist, I know I work to bring a sense of order and meaning to my chaotic life experiences for myself and other empaths. I often write about grief, loss, stress management, assertiveness and personal self- care boundaries.
Chaos appears to be disorganized without a structure. Don’t let outward appearances fool you. There is an actual structure within chaos. Perhaps this is the Divine’s plan unfolding, which I or you cannot see yet. Trusting in this, I feel my sense of breathing deepens as I let go and relax. This is not only about letting go but also about embracing uncertainty with the faith that it is for everyone’s highest and best good.
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