Time to Nurture Yourself- Cancer Full Moon/Mercury Retrograde

January 8, 2022 Lisa Hutchison LMHC astrology/moon, Empath Toolkit astrology, cancerfullmoon, Mercuryretrograde, psychology

Empathic helpers often have difficulty balancing their own needs and others. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to get caught up in other people’s energy. In our quest to put ourselves onto our ever growing list of priorities, sometimes we don’t take the best care of ourselves. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Cancer full moon, which occurs January 17th and the current Mercury Retrograde in Capricorn, January 14th – February 3rd

Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

The Cancer Full Moon

The full moon is a time to go within and release anything that is preventing you from moving forward. It could be emotions, thoughts or even physical items cluttering up your space.

Cancer full moon is a time to release all fears and insecurities. Remember you are always safe, Divinely guided and protected. Cancer is represented by the crab, as you see on this card. Sometimes it is best to go after what you want in a sideways manner, much like the crab scuttles to the side rather than coming at an issue head on. This can be effective when it comes to resolving personal matters, at this time.

Full moons can heighten our emotions. Cancer being a water sign, this emotion energy is no exception. Take a breath, be mindful and watch the emotions rise and fall like ocean waves. You do not need to get attached to any one feeling or thing at this time. Cancer energy seeks security and true security is within, it is not in other people or things. As a feminine energy, family or housing issues may be on your mind. This energy is supportive of both. Practice acceptance, kindness and love.

Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. You can speak your truth and set limits with kindness.

Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path.

With the full moon, be prepared for some kind of letting go. You may need to move on, in order to make room for the new. What needs to go? It could be a relationship. Listen deep within. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water.

Mercury Retrograde

This mercury retrograde began January 14th and will go until February 3rd. Mercury retrograde energy can mess with your communications, technologies and create travel snafus. Go slower than usual, this won’t be too difficult because you will feel the energy slowing down at this time. Double check those emails and texts before sending. Maybe even your words before you express them to your family, friends or partners. Your communication issues will most be affected by those close to you. Take a deep breath, pause then talk. When you have difficulty with others send them some light or say a prayer for them. Don’t get caught up in other people’s drama. It wastes not only your time but also your precious energy.

Become more fluid and flexible with your plans and goals, rather than stick to a rigid routine. If you have noticed this advice has worked well living in a pandemic. Focus on your creativity and what you most want to let go of. This is a time to re-do, re-think, and re-plan.

Let’s pick some cards to see what we need to focus on during this full moon Cancer. This reading resonate with you b-day in Capricorn, Cancer, you have a sun, moon or rising. All empaths, no matter what your astrological sign because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

How can you take care of you, better?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Discover Why Archangels Want to Help Sensitive People Succeed

December 28, 2021 Lisa Hutchison LMHC Angels, Empath Toolkit, psychology Archangels, empath, healing, spirituality

Most empaths and empathic people feel angels around them. This is because highly sensitive people have the ability to sense unseen supports and positive energy. You may also find you pick up on and absorb negative energy, which can leave you drained and depleted energy wise. Luckily, you have the Archangels to help guide, support, heal and protect you.

What is The Difference between Angels and Archangels?

Angels, have a strong vibrational energy. You will find they work more on an individual basis, such as your guardian angel. Archangels, being closer to God, have stronger powers than angels because their consciousness vibrates at a higher level. This allows them to work with groups of people, such as empathic helpers and artists.

We all know the world needs empathic helpers and artists to hold the space for themselves and others. Each time a sensitive person heals and shines their light, they become an example for others to do the same. The Archangels want to help people with sensitivities succeed because this is what will heal humanity and Mother Earth.

The Help Archangels Offer

Guidance- Archangels want you to find your life’s path and purpose. Anytime you feel lost, uncertain or insecure, call upon the Archangels. You were designed by the Divine to vibrate your unique frequency in this time and space.

Archangels often will offer their guidance through messages, signs and symbols. Each archangel has its own unique signature. A few of the many ways Archangels guide you is through a special song, numerical signs and a variety of synchronicities. Archangels are not limited in their communications, however at times you may be blocked to receiving. The good news is you can learn how to receive their messages more clearly.

Support- Archangels support the sensitive, when you ask. You can learn a variety of ways to tune in, ask for and receive the support you deserve. You can feel their support through a feeling of peace, joy, a warmth or even a new person or information enters your life, at the right time. Archangels want you to know you are never alone and they have your back.

Healing- Archangels love to heal. They restore health by clearing and rejuvenating your energy. Some people have even experienced miracles when working with the angels. When you receive a healing from the Archangels, you could feel a lightness, a warmth or relief from symptoms.

Protection- Archangels know how important it is to protect your energies and give you a sense of safety. Their protection comes to you in many forms. You may feel a strong intuition to not be around other people or in certain places. Sometimes your prayers are not answered because you are being protected from an aspect that you cannot see yet. You may hear a loud voice warning you to stay away.

No matter what type of help you receive from the Archangels, you will feel better.

I am excited to share this announcement. I have created a special 7 week online self-paced course, for empathic helpers and artists, through the Archangels. If you want to get more specific on which Archangel can help your sensitivity, how to connect with that angel and receive guidance, you will want to take this class. I am also offering a special introductory price. This price will increase for the Spring/Summer 2022 course offering.
Click here to learn more & purchase

Here are some other blogs about Archangels!

Why Archangel Gabriel is the Best Writer’s Angel

Why Angels Are Important in the Manifestation Process

How Archangel Michael Discharges Negative Holiday Energy

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

The Answers You Need Are Within- Gemini Full Moon

December 6, 2021December 20, 2021 Lisa Hutchison LMHC astrology/moon, Empath Toolkit fullmoon, gemini, spirituality

Empathic helpers often have difficulty balancing their own needs and others. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to get caught up in other people’s energy. In our quest to put ourselves onto our ever growing list of priorities, sometimes we don’t communicate in healthy ways. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Gemini full moon, which occurs December 18th.

Full Moon Energy

The Gemini Full Moon

Gemini full moon tells you the answers you need are coming. Like the last moon in Sagittarius it indicates a new start, but first you need to clear away what is not needed.

This is a communication and social card, which makes sense for the holiday season. Keep in mind, some people are more anxious getting together than others. Work to have compassion for others and yourself. Listen more and then speak your truth.

A heart to heart conversation may take place at this time to clear the air between you and another person. Be aware, you may end up saying more than you want to. To avoid this, write down what you want to say and practice it. Logically, look at what is in front of you in terms of relationships, work, and health to move through any blocks. Remember your words have power, choose them wisely and remain calm. Full moons can heighten our emotions. It can be good to find the humor and detach from others emotions. .

A part of this communication is listening within. Remember, you have the answers you need. Do not seek outside validation or confirmation for your opinions. Trust. Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path.

With the full moon, be prepared for some kind of letting go. You may need to move on, in order to make room for the new. What needs to go? With the Gemini full moon, it could be a relationship. Listen deep within. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water.

This reading may resonate with you if you have a sun, moon or rising sign in Gemini or Sagittarius. All empaths, no matter what your astrological sign because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

How can you improve your communication with others and yourself?

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Get Rid of Unending Fatigue with These Four Powerful Types of Rest

November 22, 2021November 22, 2021 Lisa Hutchison LMHC Empath Toolkit, grief/loss, psychology, trauma burnout, compassionfatigue, healing, ptsd, Vicarioustrauma

Resting is not about being unmotivated but rather it is one of the best self-care tools to rejuvenate and restore your energy. Healthcare workers and helpers are experiencing compassion fatigue, burnout and vicarious trauma at alarming rates. For this reason alone, rest is more important than ever. Remember, you are worthy of and deserve rest. The more you take care of you, the better you can help others. I will discuss four different types of rest and why you need to practice all of them.

Mental Rest

Our minds were created to think, this is just what the brain does. There is no way to stop your thoughts but you can choose which thoughts you will entertain. Too much thinking about what you should do, all or nothing thinking, or imaging the worst case scenario, can burn you out. When you notice these types of faulty thoughts, stop and refocus the mind on something neutral or positive.

Schedule short breaks throughout your day. Some ways to rest your mind are gazing out the window, going for a short walk or taking a few, conscious deep breaths.

Shut off your phone and social media shortly after dinner. Electronics can overstimulate the mind and cause sensory overload, especially to a mind that has been working overtime all day. Set a shut off schedule and keep to it.

Physical Rest

Are you pushing your body beyond its limits? Many empathic helpers do. Your body speaks to you in many ways through pain, tension and even illness. Learn to listen to your body’s signals and respond in a compassionate way to yourself.

Spend time relaxing and doing nothing. I know this feels lazy especially when you have so much to do but your physical body will thank you for it. If you are not getting adequate sleep, take a nap or lay down for fifteen to twenty minutes. During this time you can focus on your breath or listen to soothing music.

Emotional Rest

Emotional rest is essential for empathic helpers and artists, who people please. When your focus is outwardly directed on feelings, you can have a tendency to absorb too much energy from other people.

You need periods of downtime and solitude. Use this time to connect to your inner most feelings. Write in a journal or simply identify what you are feeling in this moment right now. Also, connect with emotionally supportive people, therapy or healers to help you restore your energy.

Spiritual Rest

Spiritual rest is important for those who connect to the world of spirit. Without proper clearing, protection and channeling techniques, an empathic helper can suffer.

Make time to meditate. Focus on all of those people who accept, love and support you unconditionally throughout your life. Take in this positive energy. Some other ways to restore are pondering about your life purpose, spending time in prayer, attending a silent retreat and walking amongst nature.

You may also be interested in 7 Simple Ways to Calm an Over Stimulated Mind or Important Information About How Your Senses Get Overloaded

What will you do to rest mentally, physically, emotionally and spiritually?

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Your dreams need a practical plan: Full Moon Taurus/Solar Eclipse

November 8, 2021 Lisa Hutchison LMHC astrology/moon, Empath Toolkit, psychology, relationships astrology, Eclipse, psychology, spirituality, Taurus full moon

Empathic helpers often have difficulty devoting time and energy to their plans. With great sensitivity, comes a tendency to get caught up in other people’s energy. It can be challenging to ground your energy and have a practical plan, which leaves your dreams out of reach. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Taurus full moon/solar eclipse, which occurs November 19th.

Full Moon Energy

The Taurus Full Moon/Solar Eclipse

The Taurus full moon asks you to combine the practical with the spiritual. Release what you no longer need, imagine what you want and create a down to earth plan to execute it. This isn’t about wishing but doing. Make a bullet point list of what you need to do, break down your big goal into smaller achievable steps. Think about what gets in the way of making your plan a reality. Are you spending too much of your time thinking about or stepping in to help others? Are you avoiding asking for help or support?

Connect with your five senses, the bull energy is sensual. Mindfulness exercises are great for this. Practice mindful eating and walking. Be in the moment. Pay attention to your financial situation. Are you spending too much or not bringing in enough money? If so, create a plan to deal with this.

Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path.

Full Moon Eclipse Energy

Eclipses come in pairs, this is video one of two. Both eclipses offer a powerful energy to move us forward. The full moon eclipse tells us conclusions are within reach. This is a full moon on steroids. Circumstances are out of your hands, as if a door slams shut. It is important to let go of trying to control other people or circumstances. Breathe and allow any and all events to unfold. Believe and trust, this is the right time to let go. A relationship may end, it is for the best. Forgive and be prepared to move forward. Work with your shadow self to release stubborness, guilt, resentment, shame, etc.

With the full moon and eclipse, let go, surrender and release. What needs to go? Let go of negative feelings. Listen deep within. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water.

We are right on the cusp of Scorpio, Sagittarius. Scorpio, Sagittarius and Taurus people and other empathic souls, this reading may resonate with you if you have a birthday in these signs, moon or rising sign. I always say, all empaths, no matter what your astrological sign, can be affected because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

What is your plan to make your dreams a reality?

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

What You Need to Know About the Silent Treatment

October 26, 2021 Lisa Hutchison LMHC psychology, relationships, trauma coldshoulder, emotionalabuse, manipulation, narcissists, silent treatment

The silent treatment also known as ghosting, stonewalling or even ostracism can be an emotionally painful experience. It has been used since the beginning of time. If a person did not act how society wanted, this person would be sent off to live in isolation and die. Yes, it was and still is this cruel. Exclusion creates mental health distress and symptoms, which can linger for years.

People use the silent treatment when they are angry with someone. It is a passive aggressive way to control the situation. Those with narcissistic personality disorder use the silent treatment to have power over others in relationships.

The silent treatment is a manipulation tactic to blame the other person and create a feeling that he or she is 100% at fault. This person often wants an apology from you, yet he or she does not clearly communicate this. Instead of taking responsibility for their own feelings and initiating a talk, people who act like this withdraw and withhold all communication. The silent treatment is an act of emotional abuse, in which one person feels superior and in control, while the other feels guilty and confused.

When you are the giver of silence

Those who give the silent treatment, often have received the silent treatment. It is not unusual, if you have learned this technique from your family. Dysfunctional patterns of communication can repeat over multiple generations, until you decide to stop the behavior and heal. If you are the person giving the silent treatment, it is important for you to learn how to communicate better and seek a resolution. Be aware that the person you have hurt may not want to continue a relationship with you because of this behavior.

It is important to heal from a silent treatment because you do not want to continue this or attract this type of energy into your life again. Psychotherapy is one way of uncovering, these patterns. If you do not want to have a relationship with someone, communicate this honestly and then walk away. The only time this would not be wise is in cases of extreme abuse. In this instance, just leave. You do not need to communicate or explain.

I got overwhelmed

I understand people feel overwhelmed but it cannot be used as an excuse to hurt others. Sometimes I hear, “I got overwhelmed this is why I cut someone off.” Since overwhelm is a temporary state; did you express your overwhelm in the moment or shortly after that? Did you ask for a break to connect with your feelings and tell the person when you would contact them again? When the overwhelm lessened; did you re-engage and apologize?

Silence that lasts for weeks, months and even years, has gone beyond a case of overwhelm. If this is you, I suggest talking to a professional who can help you look deeper into yourself.

A cut off harms both parties

A cut off harms not only the person being given the silent treatment but also the abuser. As humans, we are social beings and have been hard wired to connect with others, when we are not connecting as biology intends, it causes damage within. This affects all of your relationships, the ones you are talking with and those you are not.

Whether you have been given the silent treatment or you are the giver, know this is an unhealthy way to communicate and creates toxic relationships. I know how painful the silent treatment can be because I have had various family members do it to me. I also know how happy you can be once you process the experience and let it go for good. You do not need to make someone talk to you to heal yourself and move forward in life.

What can you do when someone gives you the cold shoulder?

You can attempt one more round of communication.
Recognize it is not your fault and you do not deserve this treatment from anyone.
Remember this is about them; their lack of communication skills and their emotional immaturity.
Don’t chase them or try to make them talk to you.
Move on.
Find healthy relationships.

You may also like to read: How to Recognize Emotional Abuse & Rise Above It

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Don’t React & Relax-Full Moon in Aries

October 12, 2021 Lisa Hutchison LMHC astrology/moon, Empath Toolkit, psychology ariesfullmoon, assertiveness

Empathic helpers often have difficulty balancing their own needs and others. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to get caught up in other people’s energy. In our quest to put ourselves onto our ever growing list of priorities, sometimes we don’t express ourselves assertively and instead have angry outbursts. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Aries full moon, which occurs October 20th and the current Mercury Retrograde in Libra.

Full Moon Energy

The Aries Full Moon

Aries full moon asks you to be kind, as you set your plans for where you want to go next. Boundaries and limits let others know what is and what is not acceptable behavior.

It is time to notice if you have gotten out of balance with others. In an effort to focus on you, you may have excluded others or ignored their needs. The opposite may be true, you haven’t focused enough on you and too much of your energy has been devoted to others. Either way, expect a fiery climax. Tempers can ignite during an Aries full moon. Don’t react and relax.

Now is the time to practice the pause before reacting. Take a deep breath or two and then respond in a assertive way, with kindness. Give yourself and others the freedom to be who they are. It is safe for all of us to grow up. Release all your fears and insecurities at this time and focus on being in this moment. Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. You can speak your truth and set limits with kindness.

Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path.

We are right on the cusp of Libra and Scorpio. Libra/Scorpio and Aries people and other empathic souls, this reading may resonate with you if you have a birthday in these signs, moon or rising sign. I always say, all empaths, no matter what your astrological sign, can be affected because you are sensitive to energies.

Mercury Retrograde

This mercury retrograde began Sept 27^th and will go until October 18th. The full moon in Aries will be on October 20th, we are in the shadow of mercury retrograde during this full moon. This means you may still experience some delays until the energy starts moving again later that week.

Mercury retrograde energy can mess with your communications, technologies and create travel snafus. Go slower than usual, this won’t be too difficult because you will feel the energy slowing down at this time. Double check those emails and texts before sending. Maybe even your words before you express them to your family, friends or partners. Your communication issues will most be affected by those close to you. Take a deep breath, pause then talk. When you have difficulty with others send them some light or say a prayer for them. Don’t get caught up in other people’s drama. It wastes not only your time but also your precious energy.

Video Reading

How can you set boundaries with kindness?

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

How Being at the Beach Surprisingly Encouraged My Health

September 29, 2021 Lisa Hutchison LMHC Empath Toolkit, grief/loss, health/wellness, psychology empath, grief, trauma

I found myself at a familiar place this morning, one of our local beaches. Remembering all the times a beach, pond, river or lake has supported me emotionally, physically, spiritually and mentally, I felt at ease. Growing up in Massachusetts, we often went to Wollaston beach in Quincy or Nantasket beach in Hull. I loved playing in the sand and the surf. As I grew older, we went to White Horse beach in Plymouth. My preference was to bake in the sun and hang out with the teenagers my age. As an adult, I find the most solace in walking the beach, when it is off season.

The beach saved my life

Once in my twenties, I had suicidal thoughts. Rather than acting on them, I got in my car and drove to the beach. This was a dark time of uncovering past abuse and facing the fact that some people I thought I could trust, denied the reality I lived through. My world was broken and my sense of self was shaken. I remember standing out at the water’s edge, praying to God for help. It was a slow road but I was supported and guided away from these thoughts, to health. I am grateful to not have acted on these thoughts and have a career that has helped many others, in their healing journey.

The beach helped me grieve

The summer after my brother-in- law died, I was fifteen years old. I often went to the beach with my sister, nephew and niece. It was nice to have a sense of normalcy and be around people without having to talk to them. Despite my sadness and loss, I could reconnect to the present moment through my five senses. I felt the warmth of the sun, sand and water on my body. I heard the seagulls and surf. I saw the beautiful blue sky, waves and brown sand. I smelled the salty air, coconut oil and suntan lotions. I tasted the salty air and sandwiches we brought for lunch. I found myself again at the beach every month for a year, after my Mom’s death.

The beach is my church and home

I found a special connection to God and my soul at the beach. This place calms and grounds me. As soon as I walk out on the sand, I am received, held and supported. Slowing down, I receive guidance and marvel in the beauty of this life.

I find myself being drawn back to the beach because of the ongoing pandemic, political divides, worldly issues and even my own uprising within, known as perimenopause. All of these instances, hold a grief but on a different level. l know without a doubt, the beach supports all of this and me too. I am truly grateful to live so close to a variety of water bodies.

For Empaths: A Special Section

Water in any form is highly healing for empaths. I know many of you may not live near natural bodies of water, but you can incorporate water into your daily energy routine. These practices help you clear others’ energies, hydrate, ground and release what you no longer need.

How has water or a body of water helped you heal?

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Be Responsible and Live your Dream-Pisces Full Moon

September 18, 2021 Lisa Hutchison LMHC astrology/moon, Empath Toolkit, psychology, relationships boundaries, dreams, empath, Piscesfullmoon

Empathic helpers often have difficulty bringing their dreams into reality. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to get caught up in other people’s energy. It takes a lot of courage for these people to set boundaries and focus on themselves. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Pisces full moon, which occurs September 20th.

Full Moon Energy

The Pisces Full Moon

Pisces full moon asks you to follow your gut instinct and trust the answers you seek, will come. All of your answers come from within.

It is time to get in touch with your feelings, you may find your psychic abilities are heightened and fated relationships come into your life. Release all your fears and insecurities at this time and focus on being in this moment. Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. Practice grounding to bring the spiritual energy in balance with the practical. You can find a balance between being responsible and living the life of your dreams.

Write down your dreams. If you could do or be anything, what would be on your list? Find one item on your list and do something about it. Whether you practice that item or set some three month goals towards you, you are now balancing the practical with the spiritual.

With the full moon, be prepared for letting go. You may need to move on, in order to make room for the new. What needs to go? It could be a relationship. Listen deep within. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water.

We are right on the cusp of Virgo and Libra. Virgo/Libra and Pisces people and other empathic souls, this reading may resonate with you if you have a birthday in these signs, moon or rising sign. I always say, all empaths, no matter what your astrological sign, can be affected because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

How can you be responsible yet live out your dreams?

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Be kind to you: Boost your self-compassion with these tips

August 26, 2021 Lisa Hutchison LMHC Empath Toolkit, psychology coping skills, empath, psychology, self-care, selfcompassion

Self- compassion is an easy concept to understand, yet many people struggle with being kind to themselves. As professional helpers, we all know having self-compassion benefits our physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health, yet we find it difficult to incorporate this kind of thinking into our lives.

Why is this?

As human beings we resist change. It is easier to stick to our routines, even when these behaviors drain or harm us. Many helpers have formed a habit of putting their needs last, in order to help others. In our society, this type of endless giving, becomes positively reinforced, yet it is not a positive when you lack boundaries.

Many health care workers struggle with self- compassion because change takes mental work. You may be finding yourself in a state of chronic stress. Your jobs have been challenging, but add on the pandemic, you may be feeling as if you can’t take on one more task.

Another factor is, it is easier for your mind to focus on the negative or what is wrong. Rather than focusing on a positive self-care activity, your mind prefers to focus on the struggle of grinding forward. This is a great survival mechanism, however, it does not assist your growth mentally, emotionally or spiritually.

How can we get over this hurdle of not taking care of yourself?

Educate yourself about the importance of self-compassion

Schedule self-compassion practices into your calendar with reminders

When the opportunity presents itself, practice self-compassion. Forgive yourself when you don’t follow through or are giving yourself harsh criticism

“Stop beating yourself up for beating yourself up.”- Eleanor Brownn

Do you ever notice, it is easier to treat others with compassion than ourselves? We all have an inner critic, a judgmental voice which brings our mood down with negative, self- critical thoughts. The best way to decrease the inner critics influence on your life is to first become aware of it.

One technique I teach my counseling and coaching clients is; Notice, Acknowledge, Re-direct

Increase your awareness- Mindfulness exercises will help you notice critical thoughts more readily. Sometimes, it is helpful to have another person, such as a coach or therapist, to bring attention to faulty thoughts.
Acknowledge this voice and the feeling- Often this voice crops up when we feel vulnerable. You could be feeling scared, anxious, fatigued or tired. Are you experiencing compassion fatigue, vicarious trauma or burnout? You can say to yourself; I know you are scared, tired etc.
Redirect- Now is the time to focus on what you want. Put it together. I hear you. I know you are experiencing compassion fatigue. We are going to make a counseling appointment or fill in the blank (self-care activity) ______________________________.

Cognitive therapy works well to increase self-compassion and decrease the inner critic. Cognitive therapy is developed by Aaron T. Beck. In therapy, the therapist helps you develop skills for identifying and changing faulty beliefs, distorted thinking, and implementing new behaviors. This can be useful for developing self-compassion.

Practice self-kindness. Sometimes we can’t think of how to be kind to ourselves. Think of a kind person in your life, what advice would she give to you? How would you talk to a friend or your child?

Compassionate letter writing exercise. This information is from Self-compassion: Stop beating yourself up and leave insecurity behind. (Neff, 2011) on Amazon.com

The first step in this process is to sit quietly and think about something that triggers feelings of inadequacy, or something about you or your situation that makes you feel badly about yourself. It is important not to judge the emotions or to try to fix them. The focus is on awareness and experience of the feelings.

In the next step, think about an imaginary friend who is kind, loving, accepting, and compassionate to you. This friend knows all about you, even the piece of you that makes you feel bad. How would this friend respond about giving yourself such harsh self-criticism and judgment?

Write a letter to yourself from the perspective of this compassionate friend. This involves asking questions such as;

What would they say to you?

How would they remind you that you are only human and humans are not perfect?

Would they suggest you do anything differently?

Once the letter is finished, you can put it away for a while. When you are ready, retrieve the letter and read it again.

Learn to laugh with yourself

Laughter, as a coping mechanism, can decrease stress, improve memory and even make you more productive. Whether you live or work in a stressful environment, find something to laugh about. This eases the psychological and physical tension you carry. Embrace the fact that no one is perfect and laugh off your screw-ups. A mistake can be an experience you learn from or an experience to reinforce negative thoughts and feelings. The choice is yours.