Why Change and Grief Go Hand in Hand

Life is full of change. Examples of change are experiencing the death of a loved one or pet, ending a close friendship, changing jobs, moving to a new location, perimenopause/menopause, illness and more. Any type of transition can be difficult because it requires some form of loss. When the ground shifts from the familiar to the unknown, it is not surprising to experience insecurity and fear. Some people have multiple changes at once, which compounds the stress, anxiety and sadness.

The Grieving Process

Changes initiate the grieving process. The nature of change requires something or someone dies in order for new life to be born. Often a piece of yourself dies and you experience a loss. It is not the change itself but rather the loss that brings up experiences of grief and trauma that require healing. During periods of change, it is not unusual to feel sad, depressed, shocked, or angry during this process. All the feelings you experience during the grieving process can be experienced during any major transition or change. This is normal.

Elizabeth Kubler Ross’ book on Death & Dying discussed the five stages of dying which became The Five Stages of Grief. These stages are in no particular order and you can cycle through these stages even within the same hour. These are meant to be a roadmap of expression.

Denial- Shock and denial cushion the pain and help you survive the loss.

Anger- Expressing anger in healthy ways is important. Anger is an indication of the passion and hurt you feel.

Bargaining- In an attempt to control the loss, you reach out and ask God/the Universe for a deal. During this phase or stage you may ask yourself “if only” questions and may feel guilty. At this point you are trying to not feel the pain of the loss.

Depression- Feelings of the loss set in. You may feel an emptiness without the person or thing in your life. It is not unusual to feel sad, lonely, loss of motivation, changes in eating habits and problems with concentration, to name a few experiences, in this stage.

Acceptance- Acceptance does not mean you feel okay about the loss but rather you acknowledge the person or thing is no longer in your life and you are now living in a new reality.

David Kessler who worked with Elizabeth Kubler Ross, developed a sixth stage of grief known as Meaning. This is the remembrance and keeping our loved one or the memory of the experience alive. His book is here on Amazon, Finding Meaning: The Sixth Stage of Grief , if you are interested in checking it out. I know I will.

How to Find your Center

Try to keep your routine as much as possible. This means eating meals, exercising and doing the necessary self-care to take care of you. As you become more accustomed to the change, you will add more and more to your list.

Seek out friends and support. Sometimes the last thing you want to do is connect to others but other people can offer you love, support and caring. You will want familiar faces when other aspects of your life are changing.

Feel your feelings. It is ok to feel depressed, sad or angry. You may also feel excited and happy. It is all good. Feelings are transitory, they come and go. The more you repress and hold onto a feeling, the more stressed your body system becomes. It is the resistance to feelings that keeps you stuck. Feel the feeling and allow it to move through you.

Focus on gratitude. Make a list daily of what you have and are thankful for, This will help you focus on the good around you.

Do a releasing ceremony or ritual. It is important to honor the loss. This can be formal ceremony or informal through letter writing. Express all your feelings and then burn the letter safely.

Be kind to yourself. Remember you are doing the best you can. We all navigate change differently. Take as much time as you need to acclimate to your new way of life.

How Can You Honor Your Feelings During Change?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Balancing your Responsibilities and Dreams Mercury Retrograde -Full Moon Pisces

Empathic helpers often have difficulty separating their energy from others. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to ignore your responsibilities and dreams. This can cause you to restrict or hold back your true self. This mercury retrograde and Pisces moon is the perfect time to let go of misperceptions and escapism. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the mercury retrograde, which starts September 9th and the Pisces full moon, which occurs September 10th

Mercury Retrograde Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A mercury retrograde is when the planet of mercury appears to be moving backwards in the sky. This can effect communications, technology and travel. Give yourself extra time, check those texts and emails before you send and practice patience. This is a time to re-think, re-plan and re-do any plans that have stalled.

The Pisces Full Moon

The full moon is a time to surrender and release. Let go of whatever you no longer need, outdated fears, limitation, clutter, etc. forgive, release negative energies. This is a great time to clear your house of energies, smudge or have an energy session.

Pisces is the sign of the two fish swimming in opposite directions. For us, the opposite directions are spirituality and practicality. This moon asks you to become aware of your balance between your responsibilities and dreams.  What’s blocking you from moving forward with your dreams? Take practical steps this month. Some things to let go of; let go of the rose colored glasses especially when it comes to relationships and avoid substance use. Follow your intuition and listen to what your gut says.

Meditate every day, especially around the moon and your answers will come. Trust. believe and receive. Write down your impressions. Meditation will help you focus and ground, let go of those insecurities. Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path. Since cancer is a water sign spend time near the water.

Listen deep within.

Let’s pick some cards to see what we need to focus on during this full moon Pisces. This reading may resonate with you if you have a birthday in Pisces or Virgo, moon sign or rising sign. All empaths, no matter what your astrological sign can feel effected because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

How can you balance your responsibilities and dreams?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Why you are so hard on yourself

Many compassionate people extend kindness to others much more than themselves. In this blog, I will explore some common reasons why you are so hard on yourself and what you can do to treat yourself with more kindness.

Why can we be so negative?

First off, we are all born with a biological reaction to focus on the negative or what is missing in our lives. This is not all bad, in fact it helps us survive. Without this feature in the brain, we wouldn’t be able to distinguish threats and chose safety. As you can see, this served the human race well in prehistoric times. Being on the lookout from saber tooth tigers, worked in our favor. Even today, it is very useful to weed out those who act abusively to us and those who are friendly. Often this survival method does not serve us well when it comes to our self-esteem.

The inner critic

We all have an inner critic or critical voice within our mind. This is why you have a tendency to think negatively when you evaluate your own behavior. In order to feel safe, the brain, scans for what is missing or needs improvement, before giving yourself a pat on the back. Some of us never get the praise and become stuck in negative thoughts. In addition to having a critical voice, you may suffer from perfectionism, low self-esteem or unrealistic expectations.

Nuturing

Emotional and psychological abuse does damage to the psyche and affects how you think about yourself, others and the world around you. Children’s brains are like sponges and absorb what is said around them and to them. This includes criticism, judgments and pessimistic thinking. If you had a critical, emotionally cold or neglectful family, you learned from their behaviors how to talk to yourself in a negative manner. Some children had harsh teachers, caregivers or even friends.

When a child is neglected, he or she takes on the responsibility for that treatment rather than blame the family or society. This is safer and ensures their survival. Remember, our brains are build for survival first. In order to believe that the caretakers are good no matter how they act, means the child has to be lacking or somehow bad. The child starts to think and believe they are less worthy or deserving than others.

Brain chemistry

You may have developed an anxiety, mood or thought disorder which affects the way you think about yourself. Those who have eating disorders often struggle with body image and their self-esteem. People with depression symptoms often look towards the negative or have faulty thoughts, which limit their potential. Those with anxiety, fear and expect something to go wrong. Therapy and medication management can be helpful to balance out brain chemistry and work with your thoughts.

What can you do?

1. Recognize you are thinking negatively and become aware of what you are thinking. If you can’t figure out what you are thinking, examine your feelings. Often a depressed, irritable or sad mood is an indication your thoughts are focused on the negative.

2. When you identify the thought, refute or question it. Is this really true? What did I learn from this circumstance? Write down these thoughts.

If you can’t figure out the thought, do something the opposite of your mood state. For example, if you are sad, play a happy song or go for a walk.

3. Come up with a more kind and realistic view of yourself. Pick a thought that is true and feels right for the situation you face. Identify your positive characteristics and find a way to apply them to your current situation. Acknowledge that some situations are difficult for all humans and you are not alone in this struggle. Short term counseling can help you see a different perspective.

How Can You Treat Yourself with More Self-Compassion?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Get into your Heart and Gut- Aquarius Supermoon

Empathic helpers often have difficulty separating their energy from others. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to ignore your feelings and instincts. This can cause you to restrict or hold back your true self. The Aquarius moon is the perfect time to let go of insecurities and hiding your true self by being a martyr. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Aquarius super full moon, which occurs August 11th.

Super Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

We also have a Super moon!  This is a full moon when it is at its closest point to Earth. This position can make the moon appear very large to the human eye. Since this moon is closer, it can influence our emotions. Emotions may run high or low. It is important to seek balance. The answer to any of your questions during this moon can be under your nose. Expect good things and positive outcomes. Opportunities are around for whatever you are asking for.

The Aquarius Full Moon

Aquarius is the sign of the water bearer but don’t get confused, this is no water sign but rather an air sign. My advice is to take some of the Aquarius detachment and apply it to this full moon, whether you are an Aquarius or not. Allow life to unfold and progress even if you are fearful of change. Let go and go with the flow.

If you have been holding back who you are, it’s time to let your quirky self come out and shine. Get out of your head and into your heart. Just Be! Don’t give too much attention to the haters because they aren’t happy with themselves or their life anyways. It is important to find your tribe and love them hard.

This moon asks you to become aware of your feelings and to be prepared to move on. There has been a lot of transitions and endings. Now is the time to, let go and let god. You are safe, loved and always guided.

Expect the unusual or unconventional with Aquarius energy.

Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. Meditation will help you focus and ground. Let go of those insecurities. Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path.

Listen deep within.

Let’s pick some cards to see what we need to focus on during this full moon in Aquarius. This reading may resonate with you if you have a birthday in Leo or Aquarius. moon or rising sign. All empaths, no matter what your astrological sign because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

How can you stay in your heart and your gut at this time?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

When Power is in the Wrong Hands

Power is an influential tool, but in the wrong hands it can cause damage and destruction. Some people who seek out powerful positions, only wish to exploit others. We all have examples of how people have used their power to cause harm. These people can be found in any level of society and in any occupation. Some well known abuses of power occur in politics, medical, religion, military and the police. Many of my clients, would say their own families have been the biggest source of a misuse of power.

Who are the power seekers?

In the mental health world, we see that certain mental disorders seek power. Two such personalities are narcissistic and sociopathic. The problem is that these are the exact people who resist treatment. Often they show up in the therapy office because they are court mandated or someone has told them to come (a family member). In either case, these types of personalities rarely take responsibility or are here to do the work of therapy.

What exactly do they do and why?

Having power over someone else makes them feel good. Some suggest these types of people are wired differently, while others say the behavior is learned. Whether someone has a certain brain chemistry or modeling, it comes down to motivation. Do they really want to change or live another way? Most often the answer is no because there are too many benefits to their behavior.

People who seek power over others often feel entitled to special treatment and think they are superior to others. Their motivation is to dominate and control. Outwardly they appear confident but deep down they are insecure. If you talk to them long enough, you will seek cracks in the veneer showing a fragile ego. They suffer from low self esteem and self worth. In order to compensate, their personalities are often bigger than life. Being ego driven, they are aggressive, pushy, impatient and controlling. They will resort to threats and intimidation to get their way.

How they get away with it

Once these types of personalities get a powerful position, they seek out others who will protect and enable them. Through their charismatic personalities, they receive much attention and are very good with social relationships. You may find they have a cognitive empathy, meaning they say the right words but they lack an affective empathy meaning there is no feeling behind those words. Instead of coming from a place of caring for others, they manipulate.

Once a personality like this feels threatened, they will do everything in their power to try and tear you down. This means they will devalue you. It is the person who speaks the truth who often becomes a skapegoat or gaslighted. Interestingly, it becomes the truth teller’s reputation who is at stake, as the perpetrator gets away with a variety of crimes.

Institutions are often unwilling to make changes unless there is a mountain of evidence against a person. Even in these cases, the rigidity of the system sets in. Rather than make healthy changes, such as a firing or suspension, the matter gets swept under the rug. Unless, these systems change, often there will be no change.

What can you do?

The best protection is through education and awareness. It is up to each of us as individuals to broaden our awareness and heal. For some of us it is going public, others it is telling their stories to professionals like me, some write about it and others chose to keep these evils locked deep inside. Do not judge others, for we all are surviving and dealing with trauma in our own way. If you must judge, judge the wrong doings of others.

How can you heal from power imbalances?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

Success is Close-Super Full Moon in Capricorn

Empathic helpers often have difficulty separating their energy from others. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to people please and overwork. At times, our work and home life gets out of balance. This can create a vulnerability towards negative thinking. The Capricorn moon is the perfect time to let go and detach from the negativity within and those around us. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Capricorn super full moon, which occurs July 13th.

Super Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

We also have a Super moon!  This is a full moon when it is at its closest point to Earth. This position can make the moon appear very large to the human eye. Since this moon is closer, it can influence our emotions. Emotions may run high or low. It is important to seek balance. The answer to any of your questions during this moon can be under your nose. Expect good things and positive outcomes. Opportunities are around for whatever you are asking for.

An affirmation for this moon is, Success is close. I just must trust!

The Capricorn Full Moon

The full moon is a time to go within and release anything that is preventing you from moving forward. Sort through your entire life to find what is working and what you can let go of, on all levels.

Capricorn is symbolized by the goat. Effort and determination are required pull out all the stops when it comes to your dream. Issues around work and love can come about. There could be some endings. This is a wake- up call for you to prioritize what is most important for you. Find a balance between work and your private life. Schedule time for self-care and set boundaries.

The end of a tough cycle approaches.  Release control, look at what you can control, which is your thoughts and attitude. Remember, you have the power to choose. Release fear and release hopelessness. There is always something you can do.

Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. Meditation will help you focus and ground, let go of those insecurities. Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path. You may also want to spend time near the water.

Listen deep within.

Let’s pick some cards to see what we need to focus on during this full moon Capricorn.  This reading resonate with you b-day in Cancer or Capricorn. moon or rising sign. All empaths, no matter what your astrological sign because you are sensitive to energies.

Video Reading

How can you balance your emotions at this time?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

How to Call Out Someone Empathically

Whether it is social media or in a group of people, there are certain ways you can ensure you are being compassionate, while pointing out someone’s behavior.

What is a Call Out?

According to Merriam Webster online Dictionary:

call out verb called outcalling outcalls out

Definition of call out (Entry 2 of 2) transitive verb

1: to summon into action call out troops

2to challenge to a duel

3: to order on strike call out the workers

4: to publicly criticize or fault (someone)

The Public Call Out

Keep in mind, no ones likes to be corrected in a public arena, whether it is social media or in person. Whether you are online or in person, you may feel your words aren’t harmful but you do not know how another perceives them. Your words are powerful and so is miscommunication. In the online word, we often miss out on nonverbal cues and vocal tones.

When someone gets called out in public, the other party may feel embarrassed for making a mistake. Rather than educating them, you have offended them, angered them or hurt them. This closes down a person’s energy and mind to learning. Socially calling out someone risks their belonging, social status and sometimes their professional reputation. Many people online are on alert for posts or certain words that may trigger others. Sometimes this is needed and sometimes it is not.

Before you call out a friend or even someone you don’t know consider:

  1. Your intention. Are you attempting to educate others or feel superior? There is a certain judgmental or critical energy to a call out. Is your intention fueled by a need to be right (ego) or is your intention from the heart? Tread carefully.
  2. What has triggered you exactly? Often it is not the post or what someone has said that is really the problem. The post can act like a stimulus to a past event you have had. Go back into your history and ask yourself; What does this remind me of? Why does this bother me so much? Heal the original wound.
  3. Is this really harmful? There is a difference between harmful and annoying. Harmful is something that is abusive or ethically wrong. It is usually clear to anyone who hears or sees the post or statement. Annoying can be something as simple as how a person says something.
  4. Who is around? On social media you really do not know who is around to see the post or your call out. Some people may admire you speaking up but others may be turned off by your approach. In an at person event, look around and notice who can hear you.
  5. Be ready for the consequences. A call out can lead you to become unfriended or blocked on social media. In real life, you may lose a friend or strain an important relationship. Is it worth it?

Here are some options

  1. Choose to not call out. People are not perfect. Social media can bring out our most emotional selves. If this is not a constant offender, let it go. If you are that upset, unfriend the person or walk away. I recently went for a walk, as I was passing a gentleman, I said,” Hello.” He said, “Good morning ma’am.” It was 1:00 pm. I chose to not correct him. What good would it have done? Except maybe cause him embarrassment. We exchanged friendly banter and I left. Sometimes it is best to take an interaction or post for the essence of it. You do not have to correct every discrepancy. Let some stuff go. Do you want to be right or be happy?
  2. Do a call out in private. Whether you are in person or on social media take your conversation elsewhere. Think about work environments. Would you prefer your boss correct you in front of everyone or one on one? On social media do not write a comment under the post, either text the person or private message them. You assume you know this person’s story but you may not. Let them express where they are at. Seek to understand and then give your take. Don’t expect anything. Allow him or her to have some space to process what you wrote. This is the beauty of doing this privately without the other person being ostracized by a group of people or pressured by social media time. The person may or may not agree with you but you have not harmed them. This is an empathic call out. If your goal is to elevate and educate others, use this method. Once the person has processed the information, he or she may chose to share what it learned or not.

What are your thoughts on empathically calling out others?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers — When Angels Fly

Book Link From Amazon: A must have for helpers! Imagine having more energy in your day to complete the things you need and want to do. You can not add more hours to your day, but you can learn how to manage your personal energy. Within I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers you will […]

I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers — When Angels Fly

Look Beyond the Drama- Sagittarius Full Moon

Empathic helpers often have difficulty separating their energy from others. With great sensitivity comes a tendency to want to know all the answers. At times, our quest for information disconnects us from our own inner wisdom or seeing the bigger picture. In order to experience how the Divine can surprise us, the Sagittarius moon is the perfect time to let go and detach from others and our desire to know. Today, I am writing and including a video reading about the Sagittarius full moon, which occurs June 14th.

Full Moon Energy

Empathic helpers, being sensitive to energy, are often influenced by lunar and planetary changes. The good news is the more you are aware of these shifts, the better you can manage your moods and thoughts.

A full moon is a reminder to surrender to the Divine. You can let go of physical items, emotional baggage or creative blocks. Whatever is getting in the way of what you want in life, release it all. You can focus on letting go during the full moon and up to forty-eight hours afterwards.

The Sagittarius Full Moon

The full moon is a time to go within and release anything that is preventing you from moving forward. Sort through your entire life find what is working and what you can let go of on all levels.

This Sagittarius full moon supports philosophy, travel, education and inner truth. Often this energy is inquisitive and wants to know why. Don’t get information overload because you have a desire to keep learning and gathering information. Stop Googling and go within.

Take the time to process, listen and trust what you already know. Life is a drama, Rather than getting caught up in it, tap into your inner wisdom, see beyond that and look at the bigger picture. Let go of the stories others tell you and the even the ones you tell yourself.

Be grateful for what you have and look for something positive amongst the obstacles you face. Life is uncertain. This is a fact. We are now living in the energy of being in the moment. Don’t allow yourself to get too distracted from yourself or each other. Release the fear around uncertainty, let go of all the ways you get distracted and trust all is well. I know this is easy to say, yet difficult to do, while living in these triggering painful times. This is our souls work. If you can let go, be and trust, The Universe could just surprise you.  

Meditate around and on the day of the full moon and write down your impressions. Write down your dreams and pay attention to synchronicity. These are messages from the Divine showing you, you are on the right path.

Listen deep within. Calm any nervous energy at this time, through meditation, prayer and being by the water. Grounding is important with this moon.

Full moons can heighten our emotions. Take a breath, be mindful and watch the emotions rise and fall like ocean waves. You do not need to get attached to any one feeling, thought or thing at this time.  

Let’s pick some cards to see what we need to focus on during this full moon Sagittarius. This reading resonate with you b-day, moon or rising sign in Gemini or Sagittarius. All empaths, no matter what your astrological sign can feel these energies because you are sensitive to shifts in frequencies.

Video Reading

How can you look beyond the present circumstances?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net

Check out my YouTube Channel: Lisa Hutchison LMHC

The Power of The Pause in Decision Making

Sometimes the only way to move forward is to stop doing and re-evaluate. Going around in circles keeps you busy but it does not get you far. When you pause, you take the time to see clearly what the circumstances are around you and what is coming from your own mind, through your thoughts. You can not influence external events, however, you can choose to change the elements within yourself.

Stillness is Necessary for Growth

Manifestation is the flow of energy to create a desired outcome. Sometimes the energy is strong and clear, other times it feels elusive. The energy is forever moving, even when you are not. As with all periods of growth, stillness is necessary. Don’t overlook this part of your journey or minimize its importance.

Think of yourself like a seed. You are full of potential but need the proper condition to grow. The seed requires nutrients, water and the correct temperature to sprout. When this happens, under the surface, germination occurs. The seed becomes a physical manifestation of a flower. As you can’t force a seed to flower, you also can’t force your process to happen quicker.

Divine Timing

There are two types of timing, Divine timing and ego’s timing. Divine timing ensures all is unfolding according to our highest and best good. Often we don’t understand why certain events happen or why we have to wait. It is a humbling experience to accept we cannot control time, no matter how much we want to. The ego’s timing requires immediate responses and movement. This works well when it corresponds to Divine timing. Sometimes it does not.

Forcing the process or flow of energy, through ego’s timing creates frustration, suffering and impatience. Over time, these states lead to inflammation and dis-ease.

Feeling All the Feels

Pausing causes you to come in contact with all the feelings you experience waiting. It is normal to feel upset, angry, disappointed and even hurt. Feel all the feelings and release them. Write them out, talk to a friend or trusted counselor. This process will allow you to get in contact with your higher self.

Your Intuitive Self

When you develop a detached awareness, you go below the surface level of thinking and feeling, to actually “knowing.” Here you will find your intuitive self, who knows what is the best course of action for you. Unlike the ego, who pushes you forward aggressively, the intuitive self guides with a gentle hand. There are times you will need the ego energy and other times it can work against you. Only by slowing down and pausing, will you discover the answer and direction you need to take.

Once you are grounded, centered and detached, you can separate the outside world’s energy from your own. It is at this point, you will know without a doubt, what your next step is- if any. Trust in the process and in yourself. You will learn when you distance or put a pause on an issue temporarily, you will gain the perspective you seek.

What is your experience with the pause?

Lisa Hutchison LMHC is a licensed psychotherapist and writing coach. She works for caring professionals, who want to prevent or treat compassion fatigue. Her specialty is teaching stress management, assertiveness and boundary setting. Lisa is the Amazon bestselling author of I Fill My Cup: A Journal for Compassionate Helpers and the kindle book Setting Ethical Limits for Caring & Competent Professionals. Get a FREE 10 page E-book; Why Compassionate People Run Out of Energy and What You Can Do About It at http://www.lisahutchison.net